Of Cadets and Curtains
by Tsuki Amano
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple mission, in and out, grab some evidence and that was it. Cloud had just never expected to walk in on Sephiroth in the shower of all places.
1. Chapter 1

Of Cadets and Curtains: by Tsuki Amano

Summary: It was a simple plan, sneak into Sephiroth's apartment, take a look at his shampoo and maybe steal a sample. He just hadn't planned on Sephiroth being in the shower at the same time.

Disclaimer: The ownership thing again? I wished I owned Sephiroth, Final Fantasy or Cloud in general, I even clicked my heels together three times, and wouldn't you know it, so far no luck in that field. I could really go for some Wutaian take-out right now.

Note: I've edited the first five chapters, nothing major just some grammatical and spelling stuff. But chapter four has a different ending than the unedited version because it got cut off some how the first time I uploaded the chapter.

* * *

The hooded figure seemed to almost glide along the tiled floor as he moved to light the last candle which soon sputtered to life under his influence. It joined its family, and flickered, casting a pale warm glow across the room. The scene which was revealed was eerie in almost every aspect. The room though not very large, now held about thirty of the hooded occupants each holding what seemed to be a thick book of some sort that was obviously very precious to them. Out of the assembly, it was apparent that there were five who held more power than the others. These had actual chairs instead of being forced to sit in cramped spaces between the various pieces of furniture, and when they stood to herald the beginning of the meeting, they commanded an aura which demanded respect and showcased authority. Correspondingly, the other followers listened, the respectful silence and worshipping attitude bringing out the importance that they gave to this event.

And then there was Zack.

The SOLDIER in question was crouched behind a washing machine, his fists stuffed in his mouth to prevent his laughter from becoming audible. But his amusement knew no bounds, and as his bright eyes studied the scene in front of him, his shoulders vibrated with his withheld mirth. Of course, this would look pretty impressive to an outsider; what with the robes, candles, the books and the general mystery. But flip the light switch on, and you'd see that it was a lot less, "Mysteries of the Cult" inclined. The room in question was the common laundry room, which explained his hideout. The hooded figures were third year cadets, who were a couple of eggs short of a full basket. Where was he? Why Zack Fair had taken it upon himself to infiltrate the Silver Elite meeting. Oh he was going to have so much fun tomorrow, he couldn't wait to rub it in Sephiroth's face that their sacred book was a portfolio containing pictures of him, along with articles and… was that a shirtless picture of Seph? Ok, maybe these cadets had a little too_ much_ free time on their hands.

Well, he had accomplished what he came here for, and with the necessary information, he crept out into the hallway. But once he had made it to the adjoining corridor, he dissolved into fits of laughter. He was still chortling by the time he reached the cadets' barracks where he proceeded to look around for Agent Chocobo, and once he relayed his master plan and glomped the boy (because really, he was like a plushie!), he headed off to share the details of his mission with Angeal. He snickered at the mental image of Cloud when he heard his code name; he got so flustered and oddly enough looked just like an angry Chocobo.

Cloud sighed and wondered what in Gaia's name had possessed him to listen to Zack, or Agent Alpha as he deemed himself. The plan was suicidal at best. He scowled as he envisioned Zack's grin as he bragged to him about sacrilegiously breaking into the Silver Elite meeting. "Come on Spiky, there's nothing that could go wrong! Seph is never at his apartment on Tuesday, he's always at some boring board meeting. You get in, scope out the place and then share your findings with those weirdoes who run the show, and boom, you're in! What could possibly go wrong?"Cloud could think of a hundred things that 'could possibly go wrong' but he didn't have the heart to tell him. Zack _had_ gone through a lot of trouble and in reality; he was too much of a social recluse to join the normal way. This was Zack's way, weird as it was, of looking out for him.

He stared up at the big door, gulping audibly as he wondered whether it was possible for his heart to beat this fast without him passing out. It was easy enough getting here, it wasn't unusual for cadets to deliver packages to SOLDIERS and other officials, and Zack had given him a spare pass to the room (which he really didn't want to know where he had gotten from). Now all he had to do was go in. "Get a grip, this is your only chance to do something like this! Be a man damnit!" But with all his mutterings, it still took him a full five minutes to work up the courage to set foot in his idol's apartment. And then he was in, in Sephiroth's apartment!

He placed his hands over his mouth just in time before he squealed, and spun around giddily, unable to believe his stroke of luck. He made a mental note of the classy furniture which somehow managed to look warm and inviting, the unopened box of stir-fry on his dining table. He was impressed by the General's kitchen which although large and well-stocked, looked virtually untouched and pristine. Had he been slightly less involved in these observations, he might have noticed the pair of black shoes by the side of the door.

But these remained unnoticed by Cloud and finally, he made his way over to the bathroom. He passed by the master bedroom and his jaw dropped at the huge bed, which surprisingly was covered by green cotton sheets. He couldn't stop the flush that raced across his cheeks as he made his way to the bathroom, forcing himself to get rid of any wayward fantasies. Squaring his shoulders, he huffed at his hesitance and pushed the door open.

And it was at that instant that he made note of two things. One was that he should have never listened to Zack, and when Sephiroth shish-kebabed him with Masamune, he would haunt him for all eternity. And the second thing was that Sephiroth had a frosted glass pane which served in place of a shower curtain, and sweet Shiva was the man **hot**.

Sadly, his overworked brain couldn't handle the sensory overload, and decided that it was high time it closed shop for the day. There was an audible THUNK as Cloud passed out and whacked his head on the bathroom tile, wide green eyes watching him.

* * *

Sephiroth _hated _Tuesdays. Every Tuesday, Lazard felt it necessary to make Sephiroth do paper work, not ordinary military related paper work mind you; these were inane pieces of paper. Today's favorite had been an especially long document for the resurrection of a Cactuar Fountain Park.

Then, there was Genesis. For some reason, Genesis felt that Tuesdays heralded the coming of 'The Goddess' as he put it. It was on Tuesday that he subjected them to his most enthusiastic reading of Loveless. If you added to that the thought of the board meeting, it made Tuesday the worst day of the week by far. Today, he had the _privilege_ of being asked to inspect the Chocobo stables. Five hours and innumerable birds later, he was sure that his sense of smell was gone. He politely excused himself from the board meeting (something about a man covered with feathers and his glowing green eyes seemed to sway their judgment). He was looking forward to a long hot shower, followed by dinner and then maybe curling up to a good book before going to bed. What he didn't expect was a wide eyed, blond cadet to sneak in, and then pass out. Once he dismissed the idea that it was a hallucination (he did look an awful lot like some of the chocobos in the stables) and had carried the cadet to his sofa, a vague feeling of recognition washed over him. Wasn't this one of Zack's…

"Cloud! You gotta get out **now** man! Seph didn't go for the board….Oh. Uh, hi Seph?" Sephiroth glared at the man who stood sheepishly scratching his head. Zack's eyes widened comically when he saw Cloud, "Shit, Spiky what happened?" That's when he finally took a good look at the illustrious general. "Sweet Ifrit! Seph, what did I miss man?

Sephiroth couldn't stop the faint blush, although he probably could have stopped the slew of curses that followed as he went to put on some clothes. As he and Zack ate dinner, he couldn't stop himself from turning his head every now and then to check on the cadet.

"You like him don't you?" Zack's voice was unusually serious, nodding his head towards the cadet. It was true. He had heard nothing but praises from Zack about the boy, his instructors gave glowing reports and from the few sparring matches he had observed, what the blond lacked in strength he made up for in speed. He was quiet, hard working and almost unbelievably cute. Everything put together, he'd wanted to strike up a conversation with Cloud for almost a month now.

Sephiroth nodded, and smiled while his eyes unknowingly softened. "Aw! My babies are growing up so fast!" Avoiding Zack, who was now trying to pinch his cheeks, he picked up the dishes and headed to the kitchen. By the time he got back, Cloud was waking up and Sephiroth chose to remain out of his line of vision for the time being.

"Ugh, Zack _please_ tell me you have aspirin with you? I think I got hit by a dumb-bell or something. But, I had a nice dream though." Zack grinned, Sephiroth could _feel_ the Cheshire cat grin from where he stood, "Oh really Spiky? Anything you want to share?" The cadet had obviously still not regained total lucidity and answered dreamily, "I was in the General's apartment. It was amazing and then I went into his shower and he was there."

Zack sniggered, "Sounds like someone had a very nice dream, and you walked in on him showering huh?" But Cloud didn't respond, his eyes as wide as saucers and when Zack followed his line of vision, his grin grew even wider. If he was a lesser man, he would have thrown his head back and cackled. "I'll just leave you two love-birds alone then." And he casually sauntered out, humming the Mission Impossible theme song under his breath.

"General Sir! I apologize for my unacceptable behavior and my actions which I'm sure have caused you much grief." Sephiroth looked amusedly at the red-faced boy who was squeaking his apology out as fast as he could. "Apology accepted cadet. There's no harm done in any case." "Huh? Uh, I mean, Sir?" Sephiroth chuckled, "I trust this was all Zack's influence. And admittedly, I _have _wanted to meet you although this may not have been quite the way I had planned..."

**THUD.**

Sighing, he lifted the unconscious cadet up off the floor. He had his work cut out for him.

Next morning

Cloud practically skipped to his Tactics lecture ignoring the curious glances from his peers. He spent most of the class doodling hearts in his notebook, and gazing out the window. He was so lost in Sephy-Land, that he barely noticed the shadow following him, until Jake, one of the foremost members of the Silver Elite, grabbed his shoulder. "Hey Strife, rumor has it that you were spotted coming out of the General's apartment. That true?" When Cloud nodded his head in affirmation, he continued, "What were you doing there anyway?" .Cloud shrugged.

"Well cadet, I guess you _could_ say he was acquainting himself with my shower curtain and floor tiles," a familiar smooth voice cut in. And as watched Jake snap to attention and scurry away, Cloud got the feeling that he should either be deliriously happy or very afraid.

He was going with option 'c', both of the above.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: All Sephiroth wanted to do was cook a nice, simple meal and enjoy a quiet evening with Cloud. By the time firemen arrived, he knew that wouldn't be possible.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, though I really wish I did.

* * *

"Are you sure it's supposed to be doing this?" Sephiroth warily eyed the hissing pot on his stove, unconsciously taking a step backwards as the ominous rattling noise grew even louder. "For the last time Seph, yes! It's water man! Nothing can happen with water! It's probably just the pressure of the steam building up or something, you have nothing to worry about." Zack sounded rather exasperated, which was understandable given the fact that Sephiroth was interrupting his evening with Angeal and effectively ruining any chance of a romantic mood the two might have managed to strike up. Not to mention that by the sound of things, they were still in pursuit of Genesis.

But, this was for a good cause, he couldn't cook to save his life and he highly doubted that the poisoning of his protégé was very high on Zack's Christmas wish list. He knew he should have ordered take-out, but he just had to play the part of Romantic Sap Extraordinaire. Sephiroth cringed as the rocking grew almost violent. "And you're a hundred percent positive then, that it's supposed to be moving with the force?" Zack sighed, a rush of static over the phone that he barely heard over the din in his kitchen. There was a reason he chose never to cook.

"Of course I'm sure Seph! I cook everyday and…Wait. Did you that the pot was er, moving?" "Yes. Why? You have assured me that this is perfectly normal." "Ehm…Seph, backing away from the stove and maybe getting out of the kitchen right now would be a pretty good idea."

Sephiroth thanked the last of the firemen, who were still smirking as they filed out of his apartment, and he idly wondered if he'd ever get the scorch marks out from his ceiling. But as he closed the door, the reality of the situation, which he had held off for so long mainly due to the fumes from the cake, sunk in. Cloud would be here for dinner in approximately five minutes, and not only was there no dinner; there was no semblance of even remotely edible food. Adding to that the fact that his kitchen looked like someone had been experimenting with unstable materia and then lost a few limbs, he'd be lucky if Cloud so much as set foot in his apartment. He mentally calculated the chance that this entire fiasco would magically iron itself out and the date would go amazingly well.

He was beyond screwed.

* * *

Earlier that morning:

His knuckles were turning white with the strain of gripping his pen so hard. He couldn't stab Zack with his pen, no matter how tempting the idea was, since Zack_ had_ come up with a plan to help him meet Cloud and Angeal would be heart-broken. Besides, all that blood and added paperwork were just not things he needed right now. So, stabbing Zack was out of the question, at least for now, though the prospect was looking more appealing by the second.

"You _love_ him, you _want_ to kiss him, you want to _hug_ him!" Zack was currently celebrating the fact that Sephiroth had decided to follow up on his decision to ask Cloud out to dinner, and was now pirouetting around the room, singing at the top of his lungs with a wreath of flowers placed on his head. (He really had to ask Aerith to stop encouraging him so much.)

Saturday was a good day for the date, after all, Shinra employees had the weekend off and cadets didn't have any classes. When Cloud had accepted his offer, he was ecstatic. Zack had volunteered to help Sephiroth out with the details and while he was eternally grateful to the man, he could have lived without the performance.

It was when Zack decided to launch into the next line; "You want to make sweet love to him!" the sound of a throat clearing itself became aware to him. "General, perhaps this is a bad time. I'll deliver the report to you on Monday." As Tseng turned around and hurriedly exited the room, Sephiroth let his head drop onto the desk with a groan. That was all he needed, like the Turk didn't have enough blackmail on him already. Zack was still staring at him in shock, frozen in mid-twirl with one foot in the air. He figured that this would be a good time to leave. "I'll catch ya later ok Seph? I'll drop by around four? And don't worry about Tseng too much, I think he likes you! And I'm going to go now, bye!"  
Sephiroth didn't have much experience when it came to the field of dating, scratch that, he was the poster-boy for awkward first dates. So, he had decided to accept Zack's offer to help him plan out the day, and had ended up with **'Zack Fair's Three-Step Guide to Getting a Date and Impressing Them'™**. The first step had gone almost amazingly horribly, even by his standards.

**Step 1:** _Ask prospective candidate out. Must involve face-to-face contact and depending on nature of individual may require flowers and/or chocolates as incentives. (Note: Make sure to take note of allergy if any, as spending first dates in a hospital waiting room is rarely as romantic as the media makes it out to be.)_

Thursday morning, 10:00 a.m.

Attempt 1: Sephiroth strode confidently towards the room where he knew Cloud had class. He had taken every precaution to ensure that this would go smoothly, not only was he looking his absolute best, but Zack was in the opposite corner of the building. Based on the copy of his schedule that he had 'borrowed' from the reception desk (being a general had its perks), Cloud should be in room 31B for thirty minutes for some cadet-only training session. Perfect set-up for extending this invitation right?

Well, it would have been except for the one tiny fact that Sephiroth had not known about, that the cadets were currently in the middle of Military Aerobics, which were special workshops that emphasized on stretching and flexibility. The now very flustered general gaped at the blond cadet as he wondered how it was possible for any human to bend like that. When Cloud executed a rather complicated leg stretch routine, Sephiroth hurriedly excused himself, assuring the worried lieutenant that he passed by in the corridor that he was just fine, thank you, and his nose was only bleeding because he had walked into a door. After washing off all traces of blood and ignoring the knowing smirk Angeal sent him he set off for another try. Attempt 1: **FAIL**

Attempt 2: He was sure that this would go better, Strife had a tactics lecture, he was safe this time around. He stood in the doorway, cleared his throat, and was entirely prepared to excuse Cloud from the classroom for a few minutes. What he wasn't prepared for, was for Genesis to come hurtling down the corridor and then launch himself at Sephiroth, spouting flowery verses as they both fell to the ground in a graceless heap.

As he disentangled himself from his lunatic friend, and assured him that yes, he still loved him very dearly, he mentally cursed Vincent in every language that he could think of. Turks were supposed to know everything weren't they, so why couldn't he hang around his lover after he got his mako-shots and keep him from doing stuff like this? Honestly, if Genesis climbed the flag-pole again, close friend or not, he was NOT going to get him down this time. Glancing around, he decided that this wasn't the atmosphere he needed to persuade the quiet boy and so, with a sigh; he grabbed Genesis, who was now humming under his breath and headed off to deposit him in his rooms. Attempt 2: **EPIC FAIL**

Attempt 3: This was pure genius! Why he hadn't thought of this before, he couldn't figure out, but it was a simply splendid plan. Cloud was in his sword training class which meant that Sephiroth could easily observe the class from afar, stroll in at his own leisure, and then take Cloud aside. It was perfect because it wouldn't arouse anyone's suspicions at all. With Vincent keeping Genesis busy, he casually walked into the training area, waved off their salutes and headed towards the area where Strife was practicing. "Cadet, might I have a word with you?"

When the other cadets moved away he smiled warmly at the boy hoping to relieve at least some of his fear. "Cloud, I was wondering, what are your plans for Saturday evening?" Cloud gave him a confused look and said, "Well, I have a tactics essay due on Monday, and I thought about reading up for my materia class, sir."

Well, that was unexpected, wasn't Cloud supposed to have absolutely no plans whatsoever and throw himself at Sephiroth declaring his undying love? Maybe Genesis had been rubbing off on him. He decided to bid farewell to his pride and replied, "Well, that's too bad. I was hoping that you might choose to join me for dinner, but I suppose if you have prior plans then it can't be helped. Perhaps we can reschedule?" Cloud's jaw dropped, and Sephiroth swore that with his enhanced hearing he could hear the gears in Cloud's mind turning, trying to churn out a response. "Sir, there's nothing that I couldn't do later!" "Oh no Cloud, I wouldn't want to distract you from your studies." "No, it's fine, really!"

Sephiroth let a smirk grow on his face at the eagerness he heard in the cadet's voice. This was actually very good for his ego, he thought. "Alright Cloud, if you insist." And that's when Sephiroth made one of his biggest mistakes, something that would provide unending blackmail material to anyone who looked. "How about you come to my apartment at around eight? I'll cook dinner for us." "Are you sure sir? I mean I wouldn't want you go to too much trouble for this." "Oh I assure you Cloud, you're absolutely worth it."

As he left, the observation that Cloud looked absolutely delectable when he blushed pretty much took over any other thought process that he might have had. He reached his office, sat at his desk, pulled out a file and then fell backwards off his chair. Because that's when it hit him; _he couldn't cook._ Attempt 3: **DEPENDS HOW LOOK AT IT.**

* * *

**Step 2:** _Prepare for date. This should include cuisine, ambience and personal looks. A good first impression is an ideal way to make an impact with the future husband/wife. Having everything ready in advance not only looks better but leaves more time for useful things such as cuddling._

Sephiroth supposed it was fortunate that he was a neat-freak by nature and there wasn't much cleaning to be done. It barely took him five minutes to spruce up his apartment for Cloud's arrival. He had stopped by a department store earlier and picked up a bouquet of daisies and carnations, which as he understood, were Cloud's favorites. Zack had gleefully explained that he could use it as a centerpiece. He had proceeded to then shop for candles and some incense sticks to set the overall mood. Finally, he proceeded to ignore the wide smile of the cashier as she cheerfully wished him good luck on his date, and asked him whether he's like any scented oils to go with his purchases. Zack had also suggested putting on some nice soothing music when Cloud came over.

So far, so good.

Next came the main feat, the cooking. Zack had volunteered to help him whip up something since he was a whole lot better at cooking than Sephiroth could ever dream to be. "So explain to me again why you couldn't just take Spiky out to a restaurant or order take-out or something?" he asked as he strolled into Sephiroth's apartment, recipe book in hand. "From what you have told me, and what little I have observed, I did not think Cloud fancies being the centre of attention very much. This is much simpler and more private so it should be more comfortable for him. And I thought that cooking for him myself would be a lot more special," he admitted.

"Aw! You're a big softie aren't you? You look all mean and tough on the outside but deep down you're a big squishy cuddle-bug!" Sephiroth wondered whether he should listen to that voice in his head that was warning him to turn around and walk away slowly, it sounded a lot saner than the one he had heard yesterday telling him to kill everyone and mentioning something about a meteor.

He was hanging around Zack too much.

_Course 1: Salad._

"It's a great entrée Seph, I mean it's healthy and everything plus it's really light. And everybody can make a salad, even a seven year old. You just have to chop up some veggies and throw on some dressing. And we can totally wing the dressing; I mean some vinegar, lime juice and a spritz of salt and pepper. And then, voilà, instant salad." It sounded pretty good coming from a man wearing a yellow apron with cows on it. Luckily his apron was much simpler, white and black and that's it.

Once Zack had gotten over how cute Sephiroth was, he had described his idea to him. The menu itself would be pretty simple, salad to start off, then a main dish and some dessert. Add some wine to the whole thing and it would be a wonderful dinner for two. He watched Zack fumble around his in fridge, "Damn, have you ever even been in your own kitchen? This stuff looks untouched…Hey I thought they stopped making this brand of cheese five years ago. Gross."

With no small amount of trepidation, Zack pulled out a cabbage and then promptly put it back in the fridge. "I hate to tell you this, but I think the salad's a dead-end. We can't cook vegetables that are already inhabited, that's just cruel." After disposing most of the infested produce, except for one turnip which they turned into the Zoological Research Department, they returned for course 2.

_Course 2: Cake._

"Ok, this is even easier than the salad, and you'll be putting everything in the oven so you don't have to worry. I'll be back in an hour and a half, and as long as you follow the recipe book _nothing_ can happen." Sephiroth was skeptical and as he skimmed through the instructions, he arched a delicate eyebrow. "Zack, I do not have chopped walnuts with me." "Eh? Oh that's alright; you can substitute a bit here and there, like put in almonds or something, or add some crunchy oats. Just make sure that you check on the cake when it's in the oven ok?"

Zack was happy to return to a disaster-free apartment, and found a very proud looking Sephiroth sitting with the cake in front of him, and while it was totally unburnt, there was something…_off_ about it. "Relax Zachary; I assure you that it's completely edible. I admit, I had to follow your advice regarding the food substitution quite a bit but everything seems to be in order."

"What kind of substitutions are we talking about? Uh, Seph, is that soy sauce on the counter?"

"Yes, I didn't have the cocoa that your recipe required so I went for the next best thing." "_Soy sauce_? Dude, why not add coffee?"

"Because they look completely different."

"I think I had better taste this cake."

Angeal patiently explained to him that food substitution involved a lot more than looks, they had to taste the same as well. So that meant that he could NOT put soy sauce, chili powder and ketchup in for cocoa in water, cinnamon powder and strawberry spread. When Zack stumbled out of his bathroom, looking awfully pale and collapsed on the couch against Angeal, Sephiroth couldn't quash the pang of guilt that went through him. Angeal snaked an arm around Zack's waist and the younger man snuggled up to him, a thoughtful look on his face.

"The good thing is that the cake is gone forever, the bad thing is that we have to come up with a new main course, because you really suck at cooking." Sephiroth was just about to suggest that maybe he had better cancel this date, when Angeal suddenly piped in, "What about that pasta you made last Saturday? That was simple, I'm sure Sephiroth could handle it."

Famous last words.

_Course 3: Pasta._

As it turned out, the pasta was an amazingly simple recipe which involved merely pureeing tomatoes and onions, adding some salt, pepper and dried herbs and then adding the sauce to the pasta itself which Zack volunteered to do once his world stopped looking like the inside of a washing machine. Sephiroth easily chopped the tomatoes and tumbled them into the blender, poured the water in and added the spices.

Now all that was left were the onions. He stared at the thing of evil in front of him, tears streaming down his face. What moron had dug this out of the earth and then decided, hey what the heck let's chop it up, add it to a pot and eat it? This was ridiculous, he was the General of the Shinra army, he commanded squadrons of men on a daily basis, he could make grown men cry with a single glance, he had a named sword and he even had a mad scientist on speed dial. Yet, here he was, about to be defeated by a stem.

After glaring at the offending stalk for a few more minutes he shrugged and tossed it in with the tomatoes, that was the blender's job right, to blend things. He then placed the lid on, plugged in the device and switched it onto maximum setting. What he didn't do was hold the lid down firmly when he turned on the device. Sephiroth was never really able to appreciate the striking resemblance that tomato puree on a wall bore to blood before.

Murphy's Law states that everything that can possibly go wrong will go wrong, and then some. So it was to be expected when Genesis walked into his apartment at that moment, saw what he presumed was blood dripping on the walls, and Sephiroth crying and came to the first logical conclusion. Sephiroth had been scorned by his soon to be lover, and in the fight that ensued, had lynched the man. He supposed he should help Angeal and Zack as they followed Genesis to stop him from announcing to the entire world that he had gone insane, but as he plopped tiredly onto his sofa, he had an inkling that it would be pretty much useless.

* * *

_Back to the present: _

He had decided that as a last ditch effort he would try soup. That couldn't go wrong, after all, all he had to do was heat the water, add the packet ingredients and stir. And look how _well _that had gone.

And that's when he heard timid knocking at his front door. And now it was time for the third step of Zack's plan, the actual date. Sighing, he walked up to door and pulled the door open. Belatedly he reflected on the fact that changing his clothes would have made him look a little less like an axe-murderer. Oh well, it was too late for that now he supposed.

The past few days had been really weird for Cloud. It had been out of place enough on Tuesday, when Sephiroth had been _nice_ to him. Not that he was complaining but all things considered, it was strange. Then on Thursday when he was in aerobics class, he could have sworn that someone was watching him. He hoped he was just being paranoid, because the idea was disturbing on so many levels.

When he was in tactics class, Sephiroth had been about to walk in for something, when he was tackled to the ground by a big red blur. Cloud wondered what he had wanted, and he was probably imagining it, but he was sure Sephiroth had made eye contact with him. Finally, during sword practice, the general had asked him out to dinner, and even offered to cook for him! The feeling of elation had clung to him till Saturday morning came round.

By lunch time, his nerves were shot, he was going to have dinner at the General's apartment, **what was he going to wear!**

His roommate Ichigo, looked on amusedly as he tried on yet another shirt, looked at himself in the mirror and then tossed it aside with a snarl. "Would you relax, I don't think the man's going to be too worried about what you wear. The first time you met, weren't you wearing your cadet uniform? That's doesn't exactly scream come hither, now does it?"

"Relax? How can I relax? Would you be relaxed if you were in my shoes? He's cooking for me; I didn't even know he could cook. From what Zack told me, he was a terrible cook." Finally he decided on a navy blue button-up shirt and a pair of black slacks. After trying in vain to tame his hair, he waved to Ichigo and headed off.

"Oh Cloud, one more thing." Cloud looked at his brown haired friend, a feeling of foreboding creeping up on him as he noted his wide smile.

"Make sure you use protection."

The damned blush wouldn't come off, no matter what he did. He had just turned the corner when he saw a familiar red blur race past him, followed by Angeal and then what appeared to be a slightly green tinged Zack. "Wonder what's going on don't you?"

Ever since Wednesday, Jake had been almost cordial with Cloud, much to his consternation. "You want to know what I heard?" Jake asked in a conspiratorial manner. No, Cloud wanted to say, I don't want to know what you've heard, because knowing my luck, it'll be something awful.

But Jake ploughed on, unaware of his less than willing audience, "I heard that stuff's been happening up in the General's apartment. And by stuff, I mean no one really knows what's happening. One of the guys saw him at the Zoo department this morning with some bizarre worm-like things, and apparently there was blood all over his walls. I even heard that the fire alarm went off at his place. The rumor going around is that Sephiroth was supposed to meet his lover today, and something must have happened between them because now, the guy's being used as puttanesca sauce. I pity the next guy who gets to meet him."

Cloud wanted to curl up and die, he was stuck. From what he had heard, going to the apartment basically meant an involuntary participation in '_Slice and Dice_', but he couldn't not go. That would be even worse, oh why didn't he listen to his mother and stay at home and raise goats or something?

Wait, that's right, thanks to the mako poisoning some of the goats were bigger than him.

* * *

_Back to the present:_

Cloud gazed up at the man with wide blue eyes. Maybe it was a side-effect of knowing that he was going to die, but somehow all he could think about was how amazing the man looked. His silver hair had been tied up in a messy pony-tail and with whatever had been happening today, he looked wonderfully flustered. That's when he registered the red stains on his shirt.

Sephiroth seeing where his gaze had shifted, gave him a rueful smile and said, "I'd ask you to come in Cloud, but I invited you for dinner, and I'm afraid there's nothing edible. It turns out I'm quite the awful chef. Perhaps you'd like to give me a few seconds to change out of these clothes? I'm not too fond of wearing pasta sauce myself."

"Pasta sauce? _That's it?_"

"Well, yes. What else did you think it would be…oh Genesis is still loose isn't he?" The fearful nod he received was answer enough. "Will you come in? I'd at least like to explain if you'd allow me too."

Sephiroth was pretty sure that by the time he had finished narrating the events of the day, his dignity had taken a nosedive of the roof of the building. The boy was in splits of laughter, "I didn't even know that it was possible to burn water," he squealed. But he was more than slightly mollified when the boy shyly placed a kiss on his cheek, thanking him for going through so much trouble. He cheerfully ordered room service and they spent a very pleasant time snuggled up on his sofa watching a horror movie.

Sephiroth, of course, was only too willing to let the blond practically climb onto his lap during some of the more frightening portions of the film. The next morning when he woke up, Cloud was still there nestled against him, one hand firmly clutching his. He placed a kiss on the top of his head and smiled. He could get used to this.

Cloud volunteered to help him clear up some of the dishes from yesterday and playfully swiped at him when he tried to steal a few more kisses. He was placing a knife back in the drawer, when that delightful voice asked, "Seph, why does your oven smell like soy sauce?"

*Owari*

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A/N: Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and review this! Please do review, even if it's a smiley-face. Hope you all enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

First Times

Disclaimer: The ownership thing again? I wished I owned Sephiroth, Final Fantasy or Cloud in general, I even clicked my heels together three times, and wouldn't you know it, so far no luck in that field. I could really go for some Wutaian take-out right now.

* * *

**Pets**- The guides said that when you moved in with someone, sacrifices would have to be made, and changes would happen with or without your consent. Sephiroth just never imagined it would involve donating his hairbrush to the mongrel (or as Cloud liked to imagine, wolf cub) his lover had brought home with him.

It wasn't that Sephiroth _hated_ animals. Of course, they scratched and bit, many were poisonous and they shed fur _all_ over the nice clean couch, but in theory they were wonderful companions.

Then Cloud brought home Fenrir.

With charcoal grey fur and big, brown eyes, he was obviously the runt of the pack and Sephiroth shuddered as Cloud cuddled and cooed to the grey mass. Didn't Cloud know that the thing could have fleas? He nodded blankly as Cloud beamed at him happily, telling him about how he had saved Fenrir from being run over, and how they were going to have so much fun, and wasn't Fenrir just a perfect little angel?

What the general wanted to say was, "No, Cloud, Fenrir is not a little angel. He is a ball of hair and fleas and Gaia knows what else. He'll need to be fed, groomed, cleaned, _and_ we're going to have to clean up _after_ him! We already have Zack for that, so maybe we can find Fenrir a nice new home."

What Sephiroth ended up saying was, "Of course love." Apparently, Fenrir took after his mommy, and as he learned that day, it wasn't even remotely possible to resist two pairs of doe eyes.

Oddly enough, whenever Cloud was at home, the beast behaved like an angel. The second the blond left for classes, however, all hell broke loose. Fenrir spent the majority of his time racing around the apartment, knocking down priceless vases, barking at random objects (according to Fenrir, the telephone directory was a thing of evil) and had taken a strong liking to chewing on Sephiroth's hair. Sephiroth swore that Fenrir was a ball of evil, out to get him.

Cloud swore that Hojo was adding something to his weekly mako shots.

Six weeks later, the warrior was sad to say, adjustments had been made. Chew toys and bedding had been purchased, his hair was tied up a large majority of the time, he took Fenrir out for an early morning walk (as the foolishly grinning bystanders had learnt, wolves grew sharp canines), and Fen was very nearly house-trained (save a few accidents that would never ever be mentioned).

So when Cloud and Zack came home unexpectedly, and found Sephiroth and Fenrir on the sofa, Fenrir's head on Sephiroth's lap, the general unconsciously petting the wolf while he watched TV, Sephiroth pointedly ignored Zack's stage-whispered, "You're whipped man!" and Cloud's triumphant grin. He concentrated on the now snoring mutt, who was probably chasing Chocobos in his happy place.

And besides, Fenrir took his job of guarding his mother very seriously. Sephiroth quite liked the notion of an ever vigilant watch dog and chuckled pleasantly as he watched the wolf slobber over a thoroughly disgruntled Vincent.

Pets were superb creatures after all.

* * *

**Being late**- Punctuality was one of the many virtues that Sephiroth took pride in having mastered. The man was the epitome of organization and stability. Most ShinRa employees didn't even bother to glance at the clocks in their offices; they had learnt that Sephiroth was a walking clock (and one heck of a lot better looking than the standard issue ones as well).

Sephiroth heading for a trustee meeting, Masamune glinting at his side? It was Wednesday, 9:15.

Raiding the medicine cabinet looking for aspirin, shooting death glares at anyone who invaded his personal bubble? 5:16 on a Thursday evening.

Staring out at the skies, with a maniacal glint in his glowing green eyes, talking to invisible people? 7:27 on a Monday evening.

The almighty General threatening to castrate Zack after he had dyed yet another one of his shirts pink? Tuesday, somewhere after 11:00.

And one of Angeal's personal favorites, Sephiroth rubbing his temples, dragging a singing Genesis back to his apartment, after pulling him off the flagpole, or down from the observatory? It was 7:18 on a Friday.

The man was always on time, it just worked so much better with his image.

It was a lovely summer day, clear blue skies, cheerfully chirping birds and warm sunshine. Sephiroth was brushing off imaginary lint on is black leather jacket and running through his mental checklist before he left for the board meeting. Everything seemed to be in place, his silver hair was brushed to perfection and fell in just the right way, his eyes had that glint in them that would make his enemies run for cover and of course, Masamune was sheathed at his side. He turned around again, and nodded as he assured himself that everything was perfect. Just as he was about to leave, a yellow smudge at the corner of his vision caught his attention.

Punctuality had nothing on a drowsy Cloud, loose pajama bottoms barely clinging to his slender hips, wearing one of Sephiroth's shirts that was far too large for him and slipped down a shoulder baring smooth, creamy skin. His hair was adorably mussed, messier than usual and he rubbed at his glazed over blue eyes attempting to wake himself up. He yawned widely and pressed a sloppy kiss to Sephiroth's lips, giggling sleepily as the older man's arms tightened around his slender waist.

*In the Conference Room*

"This is highly unlike the General. He is never late. I do hope he is alright. Perhaps some misfortune has befallen him? Maybe a search party should be sent out for him?" Tseng cleared his throat awkwardly, wondering what he done to deserve this. Sometimes being an all knowing Turk had its downsides. "Ah, Mr. Tanaka, there's no need to worry. I'm sure he's quite alright. In fact, I believe he's just caught up in his studies." Tseng cringed, wishing he had kept his mouth shut when the man asked curiously, "I see. My, what fascinating topic is the General pursuing?"

Reno snickered, watching his boss squirm and said, "The science of Chocobo courtship and mating rituals."

* * *

**Mall**- "You want to what?" "Shopping Seph, I want to go shopping. You know, malls, groceries, the works?" But Sephiroth didn't know because shopping was one of the few activities that Sephiroth had the privilege of abstaining from in all its entirety. There was no necessity for him to do so; his clothes were all custom-made, his books and stationery were all delivered home. His food consisted mainly of take-out as he proved beyond a doubt that it was far safer for him to depend on the old man down the road who sold Wutaian noodles than to attempt making his own, instant or not.

When Cloud had walked into his life however, all that had changed. Cloud brought with him his course work, his liveliness and among other things, the need to go grocery shopping. Unlike Sephiroth, Cloud liked cooking and was relatively good at it. He frequently whipped up homemade meals for his culinary handicapped lover.

"You've run out of food you know, and we can't live on take-out. The mall has better choices than the company Shoppe. And besides, I need some other stuff too, and the mall is cheaper." Sephiroth had considered asking if his company would be absolutely essential for the expedition, when he suddenly realized how many unscrupulous people there would be in that mall. He couldn't let his naïve love wander the aisles alone.

And so, Sephiroth found himself in the mall. Next time, he decided, he would arm Cloud with mace, send Zack with him or tie Cloud to the bed. The place was huge, full of obnoxious people who pushed and shoved and spoke with absolutely no idea of appropriate volume. Add to it the bright lights that were everywhere and the blaring music on the speaker and it was enough to make Sephiroth want to take an aspirin and crawl into bed.

So far, Cloud had visited the grocery store, the stationery, the bookstore(where he had longingly sighed at some of the titles, and Sephiroth had made a mental note to pick them up as a Christmas gift) and was now in a small shop, that among other things sold incense sticks and candles.

Meanwhile, Sephiroth stood outside like the world's prettiest bag-holder wondering when the torture would end. He had to give the small blond credit though, he somehow managed to expertly maneuver his way through the bustling crowds, and was using his pitiable cadet wages to buy only what was absolutely essential.

As they left, Cloud's hand tightly grasped his own, small pink tongue darting out every now and then as he cheerfully licked his ice-cream, something in the nearby window caught Sephiroth's eye.

Sephiroth had to admit, his first visit to the mall was quite enjoyable. Now all he had to was figure out how to persuade Cloud to try out the handcuffs.

* * *

**Children**-When Cloud mentioned a desire to have children, Sephiroth's mind first went into overdrive trying to churn out an appropriate response, and as it reached the peak of its productivity it gave way to comforting blackness, and Sephiroth keeled over. He woke up to find a pale, harassed looking blonde busily mopping his forehead, almost in tears by his bedside in the hospital.

And so, the idea of having children was pushed underneath the bed, along with Zack's overwhelming desire to see a mermaid.

That is, till one day, about a year later, Cloud shuffled into their new home nervously hiding something behind his back. Sephiroth worriedly got up, hoping that he wasn't hurt.

"You promise you won't be mad right? I mean I couldn't just leave him there and… Well, Seph, I'd like you to meet Denzel."

Denzel, it seemed, was one of the many orphans from the slums. He was small for age, with messy brown hair and darker brown eyes that shone with a determined gleam that was far too old for him. Cloud it seemed had caught sight of him, stumbling along the side of the road, and upon learning that the 7 year old hadn't eaten a decent meal for days, had promptly decided to adopt him.

As Cloud glanced at him hopefully, and Denzel gave him a wary look, Fenrir trotted out from his basket, approached the newest addition to the household, and after sniffing him, licked him, knocked him over and proceeded to curl up on the boy's stomach and go back to sleep.

You couldn't really argue with that now could you? And so, Denzel soon became a part of the family. He adored Cloud, clinging to him whenever he could, helping him in the kitchen and around the house. He and Fenrir were nearly inseparable.

And slowly but surely, Sephiroth began to bond with Denzel as well. They went on walks in the evenings, and Sephiroth helped Denzel with his homework. He endured the tea-parties that he and friends held (Cloud insisted on adult supervision). Denzel was a natural at swordplay and Sephiroth taught him the basics of the art, even presenting him with a toy sword for his 8th birthday. When he got a "You're the best dad in the universe" card for Father's Day, his heart swelled with joy (Cloud got a similar one for Mother's Day).

It went without saying that Cloud, Fenrir and his son Denzel were the centre of his life now.

* * *

A/N: It's done! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and favorited!

And a huge thanks to Kallie who left me a smiley face! Well, I hope everyone liked this.


	4. Chapter 4

Parenting 101

I know that Of cadets was supposed to be over, but this just popped into my head and I didn't know where to put it.

Disclaimer: I don't own FFV11, though I wish I did, think of the yaoi opportunities!

* * *

Raising kids isn't an easy task. Children are demanding, messy and loud. You have to be constantly vigilant, on your toes because you never know when your zealous bundle of joy will decide to try out his latest flying machine. But child rearing comes with a multitude of benefits that make it all worth the while; the love and affection your offspring shower on you, the special bond you form with the doctors and the nice ER people as you help pay for their vacation homes and the bliss of knowing that, in a few years, the adorable lump you held through the night would have inexplicably morphed into a rebellious mutant, commonly known as a teenager, and will loathe the very air you breathe!

So yes, children are tricky indeed, but fortunately we're here to help you through your times of need and hardship. Cloud, Sephiroth, Denzel and of course Fenrir are proud to present : Parenting 101, a guide to everything you'll need to survive the big, bad world.

Warning: Proceed at your own risk.

_**The talk:**_ Children are curious creatures and will come up with zillions of questions, because, you, the parent are all knowing and therefore must know the answer (This is before they discover the Internet, then your task is ensuring that they don't spend many hours mindlessly surfing the net, like you, and look how well that turned out.)Some questions will be simple to answer, like "Why is the sky blue?". You'll faithfully reply, not wanting to confuse your baby with physics, "Because it's reflecting water." "But water doesn't have colour." "Eh….Look something shiny!" Alas not all questions are so easily evaded, and one day, your child will demand the answer to one of life's many mysteries, the miracle of life.

There comes a time in every man's life when he is called to the line of duty, when he must step up to the plate and swallow what little self respect he may have left. Sephiroth had known this question would crop up eventually, he had just always expected that Denzel would ask Cloud about it.

It had started out a normal day in the Jenova-Strife household. Denzel had gone to school, Cloud had left with Zack to make a few deliveries and Sephiroth had attended a meeting with WRO higher-ups regarding the fixing-up of some of the slums in Sector 4. Following that, Genesis, Angeal and himself had headed out for lunch in a quaint café that Genesis had found. The trio had parted ways, with Angeal leaving to visit Aerith, Genesis deciding to serenade Vincent( Sephiroth did hope that Reno managed to get it on tape this time) and Sephiroth heading off to the local elementary school to pick up Denzel since Cloud and Zack were held up in traffic. Heading back home, Sephiroth got the feeling that his son wanted to ask him something.

"How was your day at school?" he asked helpfully, trying to fill the tense silence. "It was ok. Most of the classes are fun, maths is really boring though. Steve set this giant spider loose in the girl's bathroom, it was awesome!" Sephiroth made a mental note to have a chat with Denzel about that one. "Oh, and Kaira's getting a baby brother. That's pretty cool right? So anyway, Kaira asked Ms. Himura where babies come from and we thought she was going to pass out. She went all red in the face, kinda like when mom told me how you two were moving furniture."

"That's…." Damnit, you lump of grey cells, come up with something! "nice." Oh, _brilliant_.

Thankfully, there was continued silence for a few minutes, and Sephiroth thought that a potential crisis had been handled. He patted himself on the back for dealing with it so masterfully. But as Cloud's mother always used to say, "Don't count your Chocobo chicks before they hatch."

"Hey dad, you're really smart right?" Sephiroth nodded, unsure of whether it was a trick question or not. "Then you'll know, where do babies come from?" Sephiroth's brain came to a screeching halt and he could feel the sparks as his nerve endings worked frantically to reboot his system. The seven year old thankfully didn't notice and cheerfully continued his explanation. "I mean, Jenna said her parents told her it was some kind of special hug that's grown-ups do. But that's wrong right? You and mom hug all the time, and we haven't had any babies. Oh wait, is that 'cause mommy's actually a boy? Nah, Rick said his parents hug all the time too and his mom even hugs other people and he's an only kid. So the hugging thing's wrong, right dad?" Sephiroth wondered if he even had to answer that, because Denzel continued barely pausing for a breath.

"That weird kid, Ludwig, said his brother, Gilbert told him that you could buy babies on Ebay. But isn't that kind of illegal? At least that's what I heard mom telling Uncle Reno the other day. But you never know with Gilbert, he's nice and all, but he curses. He knows all kinds of nasty words, the ones mom told me if I ever used he'd wash my mouth out with soap. And he can swear in German. He'd probably do all kinds of illegal stuff." Who were these people? And why was Denzel going to school with them? And most importantly, how did Denzel know it was German? The boy was terrible at languages.

"Kadaj thinks that magical elves put the babies into the mother's stomach. But even I think that's lame. I mean seriously, elves? What is Kadaj, four? The elves are way too busy helping Santa." He sweat-dropped, Gaia really did not like him did she?

He decided to interrupt before Denzel passed out from lack of air or something, "What did your teacher say?" "Some weird stuff about birds and bees or something. I mean that's just wrong, what do they have to do with babies? Besides, even if the bee went to sting the bird (though why would it don't bees like flowers dad) wouldn't the dumb bird eat the bee? What kind of lame bird is going to sit around waiting for a bee to sting it? So dad, you know right, where do babies come from?"

He decided to wing it, "You see there's this special gooseberry bush…" "Uh dad. I'm seven, even I know that babies don't come from plants. Or that a giant bird carries them to parents? Oh no," he said, big brown eyes widening drastically, "Don't tell me, you don't know?" "Of course I know" he snapped, pride injured.

"Ok then!" chirped the enthusiastic boy. Alright, he steadied himself, just be frank with the boy. Not too many details, enough to satisfy, not too much to scar him.

"You see, it starts out when a man and a woman love each other very much," "Like you and mom?" "Er, yes, pretty much. And one day, they decide they want to have the baby. So, they…er…Oh look we're home!"

And sure enough they were outside their cozy home, and Cloud was at the doorway. Denzel gleefully ran towards him and flung himself at the blond warrior. Sephiroth smiled at him in relief, Denzel's curiosity seemed to have disappeared, and pecked him on the lips.

"Hey kiddo how was school?" Sephiroth froze, and damn he had been so close!  
"It was ok, oh hey dad, we almost forgot" he said, turning to the green eyed man. Cloud eyed the pair interestedly, "Forgot what?" "Dad's about to tell me where babies come from!"

Sephiroth frantically made gestures to his lover, pleading for help of some sort. Cloud snorted, really where was the camcorder when you needed it?

"Maybe another time Denzel, I think we'll save that for when you're a bit older." "Aw, mom.." "No complaining, now go on up, your bath's ready. Tell you what; I'll let you have some chocolate ice-cream after dinner if you finish your homework in time." "With sprinkles?" "With sprinkles."

Denzel dashed up the stairs, forgetting about the babies, ignoring Cloud's shout of "No running in the house!"

He turned to Sephiroth, leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest with that cocky smirk plastered across his face. "I would have loved to see that one."

Sephiroth flushed, but then added on a brainwave, "Moving furniture? That was your idea?" Cloud spluttered indignantly turning red and lightly whacked the other man on the shoulder, "Oh be quiet you. Come on, it's getting cold outside."

* * *

A/N: This is my weird head-canon now. I'm not sure why... Anyway, there'll probably be a few more updates, so even though the status says complete, as they say in the Terminator, "I will be back!"

Please review, I need the pick-up, this was probably inspired by the antibiotics I'm now on. Being sick sucks, BLEH XP And I get my semester exams results tomorrow*sigh*

But if you have any ideas for the family let me know!


	5. Chapter 5

Parenting 101: Holiday edition

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the wonderful characters I'm exploiting here. I'm putting that on next year's wish list though, right after Heechul from Super Junior.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas everyone! Or, well Happy Hanukkah, whatever floats your boat. Welcome to the holiday edition of our parenting guide. This week, we learn a crucial skill that all new parents must learn to master: _Getting through the holiday season_.

* * *

One morning, as you wake up, blearily gazing at the weak sunlight that streams into your room, you gaze lovingly at your significant other lying in bed and stretch, removing all the kinks from the previous night. Shrugging off the bed covers, you place a foot on the wooden floor…only to retract it immediately with a most undignified squeak as you leap back into bed beneath the warmth of the blanket.

Because sweet Ifrit it is _cold_!

And thus heralds the arrival of the festive season, accompanied by many of the finer joys in life which include shoveling snow off the sidewalk for an hour only for it to start snowing again the second you enter your home. Then there's winter fashion, because it's always a joy in itself to explain to your friends that no, the thing around your neck _didn't_ die, it was a touching gift from your lover. Because it's too cold to sleep on the sofa. But you can always look forward to the food… burnt cookies, highly flammable cakes…better make the eggnog extra strong.

And then comes the inimitable joy of who gets to be Santa Claus.

When children arrive in a household, one had best be open to change, and large amounts of it. Now Sephiroth was relatively flexible, at least when it came to his family. He went shopping for Cloud (standing in long lines with scary women who used lipstick that could probably be seen from other planets), he played house with Denzel (hopefully Cloud had burnt that tape of him as the grandmother), and he lovingly bathed Fenrir (so maybe the shorts he wore getting completely drenched, which lead to a very horny blond had something to do with it too). But sometimes, even he tended to reach limits.

"It's very…**purple**," was all he could get out as Cloud brought in the year's tree. Cloud rubbed his head tiredly, leaning on his love's shoulder, as the pair watched Zack and Denzel come in. The pair had a huge box filled with decorations and Fenrir barked happily, nipping at Zack's heels.

"It was Denzel's choice. We looked at 67 trees Seph, _**67**_. There was so much green, and pines needles and then he and Zack saw this purple thing and they decided that we had to have it." Sephiroth absently patted the nearly hysterical blond's back and watched as Zack, who was trying to nudge the wolfhound away, bumped into the tree knocking it down with an ominous crash.

Oh yes, thought the silver haired man to himself, the holidays were here indeed.

By the end of the week, somehow, he had managed to prop the blasted thing up and the family had spent a peaceful night decorating ("Hey where did the popcorn streamers go?" "Oh...that's what they were for? Oops, sorry, I got hungry.") Cloud had even allowed Denzel to set up a traditional crib scene in the front of the house ("No Denzel, baby Jesus was not guarded by flocks of Cactuar. Cactuar do not flock").

A week before Christmas, Denzel's school had closed and he had taken to spending time with his new friend Kadaj. And of course, the pair was recruited by Cloud for the baking of cookies. Well, not so much the actual baking because Denzel had picked up Sephiroth's cooking expertise and no one in their right mind would willingly let Kadaj near fire, but decoration of the said cookies. The fact that Sephiroth barely blinked as he placed a lizard cookie next to the smiley faced one testified to the general weirdness that tended to prevail in the household.

Cloud also decided that this year, being the first Christmas together as a family, he would try to make proper Christmas pudding. It all went down exceedingly well, right uptil the part where they tried to light the top.

"Hey Uncle Cloud, maybe you should add more alcohol. Ya know more fuel for the fire?" When Sephiroth walked into the kitchen, he could practically see the fumes emanating from the pudding. "Gaia Cloud. What did you do? Pour put the entire bottle?" He took the cake from Cloud and gingerly placed it onto the counter near the stove, only to watch in amazement as the cake burst into flames, and burnt itself out into a pile of ash.

The two boys watched in awe, and breathed out a, "Wicked" in unison at the spectacle.

Luckily, Angeal went shopping with Cloud for the presents this year, so Sephiroth didn't need to worry about that. He hoped that things would now run smoothly, and they'd have a peaceful Christmas.

Because he was that big of an idiot sometimes.

"What?" Surely, he was hallucinating, maybe the purple tree was emitting noxious fumes of some sort, or the lack of sex over the past few days had finally gotten to him, since there was no way he could have heard that last statement correctly. "Cloud, love, did you just say that you wanted me to dress up as Santa Claus?" Cloud stared right back at him blue eyes bright with determination.

"Denzel's friends are coming over for awhile, and I told him Santa would come." "Well why can't you dress up?" "The parents would prefer that I'm around the children, something about you yelling at Axel?" "He was hitting on you! And besides, what about Zack, or Angeal or Reno?"

"Zack broke his leg running down the slope to chase a sled, so Angeal's taking care of him. And Reno's already got plans, and they involve being drunk with a certain blond president of ShinRa. I can't ask Genesis, because all he'll do is give the kids Loveless for Christmas. Now Santa had better show up at the party, or else Mrs. Claus is going to be extremely pissed and ole Saint Nick will be sleeping with the reindeer until _spring_." Well when Cloud presented such a convincing argument…

* * *

"Come on kids, Santa'll be here any minute now," Tifa ushered the excited children into the hall. She glanced at Cloud and was just about to ask him a question when the doorbell rang. Elena adjusted her elf hat and opened the door, only to double over laughing. She clutched her stomach and cackled, tears streaming down her face.

There in the doorway stood Sephy-Claus in all his glory. He wore a bright red jumpsuit that had been padded with pillows, and the thick white beard screamed deranged lunatic more than friendly visitor from the North Pole. Tifa grinned at him, offering a two fingered salute at the man and Cloud suppressed a smile of his own. "You're late Santa," he said, fixing his beard and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "Yeah, yeah" he muttered, "Ho fricking ho."

All in all, it went off without a hitch. He passed out presents to the beaming midgets…er…children and barely flinched when they insisted on sitting on his lap and beaming up at him. He steadfastly ignored the cackles from the other adults and Kadaj, who upon walking up to him had realized and sniggered under his breath. It had all been worth it when Denzel had come up to him, and had shyly said, "Thanks dad, this is the best Christmas ever."

He had ended the debacle by announcing with a flourish, " And now children, Santa must go deliver presents to all the other good boys and girls around the world," following which he had promptly tripped over a string of lights and nearly brought the tree down.

Later that night, with Denzel tucked into bed and Fenrir curled up into his own basket, Cloud gave Sephiroth an early Christmas treat. "Should I be worried?" he panted, kissing a sensitive spot in the blond's neck. Cloud arched into him with a breathy moan and asked distractedly, "What?" He smirked, "The fact that the sight of me in a Santa suit turns you on this much." "Be quiet, at least you'll never have to worry about what'll happen when we get old."

The next morning, he was jolted awake by two masses flinging themselves on the bed. One was Denzel, who flushed and beaming, excitedly exclaimed that it was Christmas. The other was Fenrir, who didn't really know what was happening, but just came along for the ride.

Sephiroth marveled at the ease with which Cloud hugged Denzel, while shoving Fenrir off the bed and pulled a shirt on. He smiled warmly at how cute Cloud looked in an oversized sweater, and grinned as Denzel crinkled his nose at how icky grown-ups were, and how they were wasting perfectly good present opening time. The feeling of warmth that had blossomed in his chest grew further as he held Cloud in his arms watching Denzel open his gifts, eyes widening at a set of books he had received. It kept expanding as Cloud gave him his present, which was an album filled with photos of their family, Cloud opening his present and blushing at the oxidized silver earring that gleamed back at him. The feeling grew almost painful as the pair opened their gift form Denzel, a messy painting of the four of them, titled _The Best Family Ever_.

As he stood at the doorway, watching Kadaj hurl snowballs at Denzel, he wondered whether he should call the boys in away from the cold. Padded footsteps distracted him from his musings, and he turned to glance at Cloud, who was wearing the new piece of jewelry. As the blond leaned back into him, and he looped his arms around the smaller man's slender waist, a peaceful silence descended upon the pair, which was broken by Cloud, "Eh, he's better than I was at his age anyway. I remember almost giving my mother a heart attack by building very anatomically correct snowmen."

* * *

A/N: Belated Merry Christmas everybody! Happy Holidays! This is my (albeit late) present to all the awesome readers out there. So here's wishing you a very happy new year as well. Hope you all enjoy this, and remember read and review :)


	6. Chapter 6

Bad Days

**Disclaimer**: The ownership thing again? I wished I owned Sephiroth, Final Fantasy or Cloud in general, I even clicked my heels together three times, and wouldn't you know it, so far no luck in that field. I could really go for some Wutaian take-out right now.

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Here at the Parenting Guide headquarters we understand that raising kids is a complicated affair. Often, the labor of love is just plain labor and it isn't unheard of for a tired parent to kick their feet up, tuning in to their favorite movie only to discover that the table has been covered with Krazy glue, your child has injured himself in some way, said child has forgotten about a project/exam due tomorrow or all of the above. Rest assured, this is normal and as veteran parents will back us up, you'll probably go through the first few years like a living zombie which tends to put a damper on your social life but makes things much easier should you be auditioning for a horror movie. Eventually, children outgrow the 'roll-in-the-mud-and-eat-worms' phase and tumble into their adolescent years. That's another issue altogether that we'll deal with in depth later because thanks to the joys that are teenage hormones, our test subjects got pissed off because of our questions, locked themselves in their rooms and are doing heavens knows what in there. Today, we brush upon another vital skill that every single parent needs to be equipped with: _How to deal with Bad Days_ also known as _Real Life_.

Oh yes, we've seen the movies. Don't let it fool you; life isn't going to be all sunshine and teddy bears. Seriously, as a responsible parent you'd know that there was no way anyone would feed their kid that much candy and any child who ate a mutant lollipop that huge was bound to be hyperactive for ages. You probably are also aware of the fact that not only do kids tend to be a bit fussy about their food; they don't take to their punishments very well. So those beatific kids who beam at the reprimanding adult and promise to never commit the crime again? _Lies_!

However these are all normal, everyday occurrences so we have handpicked a few 'special' situations to ensure that your days will go smoother or at the very least, you'll have something to hit your head with, because we're nice like that.

**Illnesses**- The more Sephiroth examined the yellow blob, the more he thought it was a tiger. Or an elephant that had lost its trunk. "Denzel, you need to eat something, you can't take medicines on an empty stomach. Now, your mother made this delicious chicken noodle soup for you with love don't you think you could at least try eating it?"

Mistake number one he supposed was trying to reason with a sick child. When the kid was out with the stomach flu, he definitely reserved the choice to be a bit fussy about things. So he supposed that he shouldn't be too miffed when Denzel turned his head away from the proffered spoon and said grumpily, "That's not chicken soup, there's no chicken." Alright then… "Open up for the animal brigade!" he tried with forced cheerfulness. "Dad, I'm _nine_! I don't want it!"

Viruses are possibly the singularly most annoying forms of life that exist, though if you want to get technical about it, they're neither really alive nor dead, but who'd want to get technical about a virus? They turn perfectly sane, good-natured children into grumpy, irritable balls of snot. Granted they're balls of snot that you love unconditionally and feel terrible about the fact that your precious child is sick, so you'll spend every second of your day caring for the patient, regardless of any damage to health or clothes.

Helping Denzel to sit up so he could eat a slice of toast, as it turned out was a terrible idea, and as Cloud helped him change his shirt and mopped Denzel's face, Sephiroth couldn't help but think that there was a moral to be learned in all this. Eventually, with Cloud's coaxing he managed to get Denzel to eat a couple of dry biscuits and a little water.

Then came the ordeal of the medicine, which Cloud escaped while he was clearing the dishes and feeding Fenrir. "Look, the only way you're going to get better is if you take your medicine." Denzel shook his head, "No way! It tastes nasty, Fenrir wouldn't even touch that!" He then clamped his jaws firmly shut and refused to take the innocuous red liquid. Sephiroth decided to take initiative, "It's not that bad, it's actually quite…pfft!" What do you know; there were worse things in the world than his cooking.

**Trust**- "You threw a vase at my head?" Sephiroth didn't know whether he was happy or not that he didn't really like that vase anyway, but still, his husband had just thrown a vase at his head.

"How could you? And you have the nerve to come back here with flowers after you did that?" Cloud yelled, semi-hysterically. The General blinked, somewhere along the way, he wasn't getting the entire transmission because this wasn't adding up at all. "Erm… Cloud, love, you can throw anything you want at me afterwards, but what exactly did I do?" The blond in question snorted, "Don't play dumb! I know what you've been doing behind my back in the office, having a fling with that, that blond hussy." "But you're blond." he said dumbly. In retrospect it was a bad idea to tell Cloud he could throw anything, a fact he reflected on as he ducked when a flying table went past.

Time to remedy the situation before things got out of hand; Cloud was awfully close to the sofa. "I'm _not_ having an affair, why in Gaia's name would you assume that I was?"

_We at the Parenting Guide would like to insert a footnote at this junction. Trust is essential for any healthy relationship, no matter how corny that may sound. If you're going to keep a secret behind your significant other's back, be duly aware of the fact that it will blow up in your face._

Waving his hands in the air, Cloud started listing off the various pointers, "You've been so chirpy lately, you don't do chirpy damnit, you barely do a controlled happy. You were positively glowing yesterday after work, I've never seen you come home and_ not_ want to kill things. Then there's the fact that you've been taking extra care about what you wear, you bought new cologne and you bought a bouquet of sunflowers for someone! Not to mention that Denzel noticed that when you were talking on the phone yesterday, you were smiling to yourself. You've been coming home late and you won't tell me what's happening and…I don't know Seph, what am I supposed to think?"

Normally, Cloud was pretty level-headed, you had to be if you were looking after Sephiroth, Denzel (who had started bringing Kadaj home more often) and Fenrir, so normally he would have been able to rationalize the situation.

But the more Sephiroth examined Cloud's tired face, the more he internally cringed. Cloud had been working himself to the bone all week; with seemingly endlessly long deliveries, Denzel's exams around the corner and Fenrir hurting his paw. He didn't want to do this and Zack was going to be pissed that he wasn't the one who got to tell Cloud, but he had his house to think about. And he liked that couch too.

"Cloud, I promise, I'm not having an affair!" he said, as calmly as he could given the situation. "Then what's going on?" "Zack and Angeal are getting married, that's why they called us over for dinner tomorrow, to tell you. You've been so busy that they didn't want to add to your hassles." Cloud froze, dictionary in hand. "Oh," he said slowly, before collapsing tiredly on the couch and burying his head in his hands, "Shiva, I'm so sorry Seph. It's just that…all this stuff and I thought….I'm so stupid." Sephiroth deeming that it was now safe carefully placed an arm around Cloud's slender shoulders. "It's not entirely your fault, things have been hectic. I guess you just needed to vent." Rubbing soothing circles on his back, he was mentally planning how to clean up the mess before Denzel got home, when he heard the door close. "Dad! You're never going to believe this but our _coffee table_ is in a tree!"

After Cloud had sheepishly explained that he had gotten a little out of hand and was going to take some time off to recuperate, he patted the boy on the head and dragged himself off to bed. Denzel glanced at Sephiroth, a familiar gleam in his eyes. "If mom doesn't find out, can I tell everyone in school that Ninja warlords broke into our house?"

**House Guests**- As responsible adults, it is your duty to impart snippets of morals and values to your children which in theory will make them better human beings. But it's also your duty to teach them the limits of altruism; let's take for example the concept of sharing. Sure, the phrase 'What's mine is yours' looks great on paper, and children should be encouraged to share small things like their lunches, stationery and cookies. But when they grow up, do you want your kid to be the one that neighbors go to when they need a car, because they forgot about their baby's christening and need to ferry their relations around the city? Most definitely not, because then your child will borrow your car and you will be deprived of the movie that you were going to see. An important subset that needs to have its limits defined in terms of this rule is the whole, 'Mi casa es su casa' idea. Having friends and family crash at your place for a short while is fun, it adds variety to your life. But once your house-guest knows where all the kitchen utensils are and you don't, it may be time for them to consider new living arrangements.

The last straw was when Cloud found her trimming her hair in the kitchen sink. That was when he decided that either Tifa had to go or he would, and since Sephiroth was the man of the house, it was his job to evict her. His old friend had hit a rocky patch in her relationship and with nowhere else to go; they had graciously extended their home to her for the weekend. Except that she didn't leave after the weekend was over, in fact she was still there the next weekend and the week after that and the week after that. After about the first week, it had become apparent that they were all part of a _'House Guest from Hell'_ special.

Tifa may have been one of Cloud's closest friends in the world but that didn't stop Sephiroth from wanting to lock her out of the house. She had spent the first week there sobbing her heart out and steadily eating her way through the tub of chocolate ice-cream they had in the fridge. As the weeks progressed, she mainly spent her time lounging on the sofa flipping through movies. Occasionally, she would play with Denzel but she had been forbidden from going anywhere near Fenrir who had taken a strong dislike to her, a fact which she took personal offence to.

Then came one night, somewhere in the second week, when they were awakened to the dulcet tones of her screaming at her ex on the phone. Cloud was busy plugging Denzel's ears so he missed the few muttered curses that Sephiroth let out. Not to mention the fact that sex was no longer an option because it was just plain awkward now. But when Sephiroth came home one day and saw Tifa perusing some home décor magazines, and when she cheerfully explained that they needed to do something about the colour scheme because this place was just _so drab_, he decided it was time to confront Cloud. Which had gotten them nowhere since honestly the two of them didn't know how to kick her out.

Then one bright afternoon, Cloud had burst into his office gasping for breath, practically in tears. Waving off his confused secretary, he led the flustered blond to a chair. "She has to go, do you know what she was doing this morning?" In addition to using their kitchen as a makeshift beauty parlor, it seemed she had taken to teaching Denzel 'self-defense', had tried to chat up Vincent of all people and had taken to painting her nails on their sofa. "I can't take it anymore, if you don't find some way to get her out, I'm moving to a motel! She's driving me crazy! I think she's been using my toothbrush." So with that in mind, and the promise of many steamy, unbridled nights as a reward(in all fairness, this was probably the kicker) he set off to do some emergency pest control.

All in all, his plan was a success and she wasn't miffed at all. Tifa and Cloud still were great friends and the world went on. He just had a hard time explaining why Tifa sent them a book called _'The ABCs of Home Exorcisms'_ for Christmas.

**Bad days**- The world was out to get him, the Life stream was punishing him for all his sins that he had committed and would commit in the future, he was sure of it. His morning was peaceful enough, blue skies, bright sun, nothing was broken, fire alarm didn't go off when he made his tea, all in all it was a good start. He pecked Cloud on the lips, hugged Denzel and left for work. So far so good.

Unfortunately for him, a rogue pack of Behemoths had decided to block the highways which meant he was stuck in traffic for a good two hours. Zack had switched the CDs in his car and his radio had died awhile back, so that meant he was stuck listening to some bubbly, peppy nonsense that had him wanting to turn the car around and go home. By the time he had reached work, the sky was overcast and gloomy. He had missed an important meeting thanks to the jam and was just in time for a board meeting, which had gone _splendidly_ especially when Cissnei had mixed up the scanner and the paper shredder. He skipped lunch in lieu of attempting to reassemble various contracts. Come four o'clock he usually poured himself a cup of strong coffee to keep him sane through the remainder of the day. Of course, today would be the day that the coffee machine would be on the fritz.

By the time he had reached home, it was almost nine o'clock. He had ended up staying late finishing up paperwork, and then the heavens had opened up and made things even worse. In the mad dash he made from the car to the front door, he had tripped and fallen into a huge pool of muddy water so it was understandable when Kadaj opened the door, he had slammed it shut again, screaming that there was a crazy axe-murderer outside.

_The thing about real life is that there are times when all you're going to want to do is hide in a corner and not come out, because real life is a pain. Eventually, you'll trade in the sword fighting and adventure for a desk job and stability, which is usually harder and more life threatening than the actual fighting. But there's one perk that comes with the latter which nothing in the world can make up for, and that's coming home to a family no matter how dysfunctional it may be._

A warm bath and a hot meal can really change your perspective about things, Sephiroth noted. Now as he sat curled up watching a re-run of some movie that they had seen a hundred times, with Cloud tucked in next to him a blanket covering the two of them, he idly let his eyes sweep over Denzel and Kadaj who were alternating between watching the movie in complete rapture and maintaining a running commentary and then over Fenrir who was sleepily chewing his teddy bear. As warm fingers played with strands of silver hair and massaged the nape of his neck, he knew that he'd easily take a few more bad days, as long as he could come home to this.

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**Author's Note**: And my weird head-canon persists, though I'm not sure why. Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to review, you guys make my day! Hope you liked the latest chapter, and _**for those who skipped the note in chapter one**_, I've done a bit of editing on this story. It's nothing major, just some grammar and spelling stuff which I noticed later and didn't like. But the ending of chapter four is different because for some reason that got chopped off when I uploaded it online. Anyway, read and review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Movie Nights**

**Disclaimer**: The ownership thing again? I wished I owned Sephiroth, Final Fantasy or Cloud in general, I even clicked my heels together three times, and wouldn't you know it, so far no luck in that field. I wouldn't mind some Materia right now.

It's been too long since I've written for this fandom. This is a brief break from the Parenting Guide. It was supposed to be a humorous piece of Sephiroth looking after an ill Cloud but it's turned into more of a character sketch. I'd place this at around a year after the events of the first two chapters.

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There were days when Cloud wanted nothing more than to hide away from the world. He longed to wrap himself up in his warm, fuzzy blue and yellow Chocobo print blanket and ignore the harsh reality that life usually presented. There were times when the only thing that Cloud really wished for was quiet solitude and room to breathe. When he could switch off the jarring static that surrounded him and immerse himself in the comforting fantasies that filled his mind.

It wasn't like Cloud was purposefully antisocial. As a young boy, he hadn't had many friends. Known as the bastard child of the village, most people kept their distance from his small house that rested precariously at the edge of the forest. The few humans that bothered to make any contact with him or his mother did so only to bully him. He had lost count of the number of times he had trudged back home, bruised and angry. His mother lived in a world of her own. Her mind was far too lost in the mists of the past to have any room to spare for bothering about her son.

Cloud's first friend was a snowman that he made in the dreary winter months. Lumi, as he'd called him, melted away within a few months but that meant little to Cloud. His lonely mind had grown happily accustomed to the companionship that his inanimate friend provided. He soon made friends with Odin, a massive tree in the forest. He spent many a day nestled in Odin's long branches, gazing at the world below. The ancient tree was filled with life and wisdom, Cloud could feel its power humming below the surface of the bark.

He also befriended a small wolf pup that he named Fenrir. Fenrir was loyal to his master, chasing the bullies away and keeping him warm on cold winter nights. They'd often go for long walks in the forest and when Cloud would visit Odin, Fenrir would rest on the roots of the tree, waiting faithfully for Cloud to return.

All in all, Cloud knew that he didn't have healthy relationships, but he wasn't one to complain.

Shinra changed things. Suddenly, Cloud was thrust into a sea of people. He couldn't avoid them; they were a part of his life. As social skills went, his were appalling. Somehow, his one sided conversations with a tree and a wolf didn't hold him in good stead with his new comrades. And so, the shy Nibel boy once again became a recluse.

But all that changed when he met Zack Fair. The energetic First Class turned Cloud's world upside down. For whatever reason, Zack _liked_ Cloud. He genuinely wanted to know the small blond better, to be friends with him. And with Zack's friendship came that of others as well. Soon, Cloud forgot all about being lonely, he forgot about not knowing how to deal with people.

Zack was his first real friend in the army. Loud and brash, the man had a penchant for ruffling his yellow spikes and thumping him on the back (the first time he'd done that, Cloud had very nearly flown out the window). Weeks turned to months and soon, Zack was teaching Cloud how to hold a sword properly, how to level Materia and to Sephiroth's eternal horror, how to pick the correct flavored lube.

Cloud spent evenings in Zack's apartment, finishing homework and occasionally watching movies. He'd learnt that for all Zack's cooking prowess, the man couldn't clean up to save his life. The two fell into an easy rhythm on the weekends where Cloud would help with the laundry and the dusting, eat lunch with Zack and then help with the dishes.

He'd earned himself a place in Zack's heart when he aided Zack to secure a date with his long-time interest. Angeal and Zack had just celebrated their first anniversary and Cloud reminisced over the way the normally suave man had flushed a horrible shade of red when he'd offered Angeal a bouquet of flowers.

Then there was Reno. The Turk was an unlikely friend, but a valuable one. The fiery red head had shown Cloud around Wall Market and helped him pick up some gifts for the others. But perhaps the strongest reason for his rather unorthodox bond with the man was their similar upbringing. Reno's family life was just as lacking as Cloud's and he knew all about being alone.

About three months into his stay in Shinra, a group of large and exceedingly dimwitted cadets had cornered Cloud in the hallway. Somehow, his story had leaked and now everyone knew that he was the Black Sheep of Nibelheim. He doubled over as one of their boots made contact with his stomach. Shutting his eyes, he listened to their laughter. He waited for their punches, but they never came. Cracking upon his eye, he was amazed to see a young man, with the brightest red hair he had ever seen, waving what looked like an ElectroMag rod in the leader's face.

"If I ever catch you around this kid again, I'll be paying you a visit along with some good friends yo." Something about the way the rod in his hand crackled with electricity seemed to do it, and Cloud was soon left alone with his new savior. Tilting his head up, he met the glowing aqua eyes. "The name's Reno," he said, yanking Cloud up to his feet. "Damn," he whistled, "Those losers did a real number on ya huh? Let's get you to the infirmary."

After that, there was no turning back. From watching bad Wutaian movies to nearly burning his taste buds off while eating his cooking (Reno liked it spicy), Cloud knew he was stuck with Reno for life. He just, didn't mind it as much as he should have.

Angeal was more of an elder brother figure. The lone sane individual in the group, Cloud had once been scared to even breathe around the man. There was something about the way the tall man wielded the Buster Sword that sent cold shivers down Cloud's spine. Once Angeal and Zack had become a couple though, Cloud met Angeal on a nearly basis. Contrary to his earlier belief, Angeal was the most peaceful soul he knew. He'd been the one to teach Cloud how to clear his mind and keep out the clutter.

Among other things, Angeal was an ardent fan of gardening. Cloud loved spending time with him in his small garden, being reminded more often than not of his mother during her more lucid moments. Watching the Commander spray water lovingly on his ferns, he couldn't believe that at one point he had feared for Zack's safety.

Undoubtedly though, his most impressive achievement was his ability to sit through Zack's repeated miserable attempts at singing. Zack, bless his soul, was tone deaf. But Cloud loved watching the way Angeal's warm brown eyes fixated on Zack, the way he'd swing the younger man around the room as if it was only the two of them.

If Angeal was the sane one, then Genesis was by far, the most eccentric one. Cloud wasn't even really sure how they had met. All he knew was that one day, a red blur had burst into Zack's apartment and had started sprouting the most bizarre poetry he had ever heard. Too stunned to do anything, he'd just nodded and listened on quietly, wondering who in Ifrit's name this weirdo was.

Of course, eventually, Angeal had explained who Genesis was and they'd been properly acquainted. But that didn't stop Cloud from thinking that he was strange. He'd just learnt to deal with the weirdness. And the repeated attempts to get him to wear leather.

Last but not least, there was Sephiroth. If anyone had told him that the great General of Shinra would be among his motley crew of friends, Cloud would have probably died of laughter. But somewhere along the course of his stay, he had become close friends with his hero. After their first awkward encounter in Sephiroth's apartment, the two had managed to carve out a vague semblance of a relationship. He'd learnt that his hero was not the same as the person who he saw in the flesh, no, the reality was far better.

Both were socially inept, but that was probably what held them together. There was nothing more comforting than collapsing against the man's broad chest after a hard day of training. Interestingly enough, Sephiroth was exceptionally talented in getting Cloud to relax. He knew just where to press lightly on the younger man's scalp to turn him into putty. Nestled up against him, the tensions of the day melted away.

Sephiroth tended to have nasty days as well. Days where no one was allowed into his inner sanctum except his wonderful blond lover, who brought with him, wonderful, soothing, hot tea. A hot cup of tea coupled with an equally hot blond in his lap made even the most unpleasant of days bearable.

Cloud had a ridiculously poor immune system and tended to get sick often. His latest acquisition was a mild bout of food poisoning. Through the long, pain filled hours before the medicines kicked in, Sephiroth had held his hand and rubbed his poor stomach. He smoothed the sweaty spikes off his forehead and supported him when Cloud had bent over the toilet, emptying his stomach of what little it held. When Cloud could barely keep water down, he'd spent half an hour in the kitchen, making a vegetable broth to make sure Cloud got his nutrition.

Knocking on the door snapped him out of his reverie. He hurriedly washed his hands, drying them on the green towel that hung near the sink. "Cloud, are you almost ready?"

Grinning, he yanked the door open and hugged his startled lover. "Yeah, sorry I took so long." Sephiroth smiled at him softly, pecking his lips. "That's alright. Shall we go then? Angeal just called, Genesis has already started his rendition of Volume two and I believe Zack may make good on his threat to use the sour cream in a most unconventional manner."

Giggling, he let the man wrap a scarf around his neck and leaned into his side. Movie nights were always fun.

There were days when Cloud valued his solitude above all else. Today just wasn't one of them.

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**Author's Notes:**

So…I'm not sure where this came from. The last bit about cloud being sick a lot is based on me. I just recovered from viral fever and now am on the recovery path from food poisoning.

_Lumi_ is the Finnish word for Snow. Someone when I picture Nibelheim, I associate Nordic culture with it.

Also, writing this, I realized most shamefully that I don't know what color Reno's eyes are. I'm mildly disgusted with myself because I love Reno. If any of you know what color they are, let me know!

For the background of Cloud's upbringing, check out Substitute.

I think that's it for now. As a parting note, this hasn't been proofread properly. If there are any errors please point them out.

Feedback is appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Meeting the Parents**

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing. If I did…well let's just say us yaoi fangirls would have been a heck of a lot more satisfied.

This doesn't follow the Parenting Guide Arc either, except for the last bit, but that can be read as a standalone.

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Pulling his military issue scarf closer towards himself, he fought off the sudden gust of cold air that threatened to transform his nose into an icicle. Cloud had very nearly forgotten just how cold Nibelheim could get. Glancing to his side, he grinned at Zack who was rubbing his hands together, blowing at them occasionally. Zack was a Gongagan native, used to the warmth and humidity that a tropical environment like that his hometown provided. But bring him to the snow laden peaks of Nibel and he was like a fish out off water.

"I thought those Mako shots were supposed to help in temperature regulation." he chirped up, sending a small smile at Zack's direction. Groaning miserably, the first class replied, "If it wasn't so cold, I'd throw you headfirst into a pile of snow. You people are insane! It's freezing! How do you live here?" Laughing, the blond cadet gave him an amused look, "Well, for starters, most of us tend to live in actual homes, not moving vehicles. And you get used to it. 'Sides, this is nothing, wait till we hit winter."

The curtain that had divided the bus drew back. Angeal and Sephiroth entered, and Zack seeing that they held blankets, latched onto his lover. Sighing, Angeal peeled off the hyper First, muttering, "Zack, unless you disentangle yourself from me, I'm not going to be able to open up the blanket."

Sephiroth allowed his lips to twitch upwards in amusement as he watched Zack sit almost obediently, allowing Angeal to wrap the pair in a warm fleece blanket. Quietly, he did the same, humming contentedly as Cloud snuggled up to his side. Draping an arm across the boy's shoulders, he remarked, "Mako injections do, as you were wondering, protect us from temperature fluctuations. But only within a certain range, extreme climates such as these tend to make the thermoregulatory mechanism ineffective."

Placing a light kiss on Sephiroth's nose, which he was delighted to find, was slightly cold, Cloud beamed. "Don't worry, my mom makes the most awesome hot chocolate! It's bound to warm you up!" Tensing up slightly, Sephiroth interjected, "It is most kind of your mother to allow us to stay with her. We don't want to burden her. I'm quite sure that we could have managed in the military quarters." "Nah, Ma wanted to meet you all. She's been dying to meet you after the letters that I keep sending her. Plus…well we did decide to let her know."

"Let her know what?" Slapping the back of his protégé's head lightly, Angeal let out a sigh, "Zack!"

"That's alright Angeal," Sephiroth remarked idly, carding his fingers through yellow spikes, "Cloud and I decided to inform Mrs. Strife as to the nature of our relationship." "About that Seph…er…You might not want to call my mom Mrs. Strife. She…um...she goes by Freyja."

"You guys that's so awesome! If I wasn't so warm, I'd totally hug you! Hey 'Geal, remember when we told my mom?" Rubbing his temples tiredly, Angeal replied, "How could I forget? She was infuriated by the fact that I was tainting her baby boy and set the family Cactuar on me. She also threatened to boil my head in a stew if any harm came to a single hair on your head."

Zack sighed happily, "Yeah…that's Mom for you. Always handy in the kitchen she was."

* * *

It was a simple mission for Shinra; they were just going to check up on the old reactor up in the village of Nibel. It wouldn't take too long, give or take, when you included transportation, it would only be around a week. Cloud was one of the cadets who had been selected to make the trip as well. Being a Nibel born native, not only did he know every nook and corner of the village, his only living family was in that same village. And that was why Sephiroth had decided to take a leap of faith and meet Cloud's mother.

Cloud headed up to his home first, the higher-ups having a meeting. In hindsight, he was a little relieved his friends weren't there to see his reunion with his mother. She was ecstatic to see him again, squashing him to her and planting kisses on his hair. It wasn't long before she packed him off to the baker to get a loaf of bread and she set to work preparing a pot of stew. All was well in the Strife household once more….for one whole hour.

"I dunno…maybe Spiky mislabeled something?" Sephiroth shot Zack a scathing glare. "Honestly, it's his own home. I don't think he would make mistakes about that." Zack puffed out his cheeks, "Yeah, but nobody's answering! And it's cold!" "Oh really Zackary? I didn't notice." Rolling his bright eyes, the man tried knocking on the door again, "Fine Mr. Snarky be that way. Man I hope 'Geal's having a better time at the base." Angeal had opted to remain behind, since at least one commanding officer needed to keep an eye on the troops.

Pressing his ear to the door, Zack's brow furrowed. "Hey Seph…It's weird man. I can hear voices in there!" Suddenly, he shot up, "Dude! I heard someone scream! What if there are thieves or something inside? We need to save them!"

Nodding, Sephiroth carefully unsheathed Masamune. "Given the current circumstances, I would suppose that they have already taken the inhabitants captive. Therefore, I feel our best bet would be to launch a covert attack from the back door." "Sounds good to me."

Getting into the house was easier said than done. The back of the house was rocky and unpaved, with plenty of trees and weeds getting in their way. The back door was a trial unto itself. Fiddling with it, it took a full five minutes before they could manage to open it. Zack entered the house triumphantly, allowed the door to swing open and exclaimed, "AHA! I have gotten in!"

Well so much for stealth.

Sephiroth barely had any time to prepare before he was attacked from behind. "Out! You horrible, disgusting invaders! How dare you attack a poor defenseless woman! Scoundrels!" Luckily for them, Cloud was just returning from the baker's at that time and he managed to pull his mother, who was very talented with a broom, off Sephiroth. Later, as he pressed kisses to Sephiroth's head, he explained what had happened. His mother tended to phase out sometimes, getting lost in her own world. When she was cooking, she had turned on the old radio and she was lost in her own reverie. She hadn't heard them at the door.

To add insult to injury, she had taken perfectly well to Zack. He was now seated happily at the table, indulging in hot stew and warm crusty bread. But the moment she'd heard that he and Cloud were going out, she'd turned downright icy. The outside climate was like a Gongagan summer compared to her. Her pretty blue eyes had been like shards of glass as she'd eyed the flowers he'd brought for her. "I don't see what the point of these is. We've got a perfectly lovely garden outside. Still I suppose they'll have to do."

Cloud leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against the other man's. "It's in her nature to be a little distrustful of you. Don't take it too personally. For what it's worth, I love you either way."

And it was worth a lot, decided Sephiroth, as he gently pushed the now flushed and giggling boy onto the bed. Pressing soft kisses to his neck, he sucked at a spot on his collarbone, content that it would leave a faint mark. Nimble fingers unbuttoned Cloud's shirt, lips attaching to one dusky nipple. Sephiroth felt a familiar warmth coil in his stomach as Cloud arched off the bed, panting heavily.

"Dinner's ready you two. I'd suggest that you eat it while it was still…oh." And with that Sephiroth contented himself with the knowledge that Cloud's mother would hate him for the rest of her life and then probably some years after.

Dinner went relatively well, that is, until Freyja brought out dessert. "Mom!" hissed Cloud, "I told you Seph's allergic to peanuts." "That's alright ma'am," Zack cut in cheerfully, "I'll eat his share!" Freyja smiled kindly at him, "Thank you Zack. It's nice to know that at least one of you appreciates good cooking."

Cloud let his head fall to the table.

Later that evening, the pair sat curled up on the roof, wrapped in a couple of thick blankets. Cloud pointed out constellations to his lover, explaining the myth behind each one. It wasn't long before he started to nod off. "Shall we go back inside?" Sephiroth gently asked, not wanting to disturb him. "Not right now. I always…"he yawned widely, "I always used to like falling asleep outside. Wake me up in half an hour?" Sephiroth nodded, placing a kiss on the downy spikes.

He sat in silence for fifteen minutes, watching the endless expanse of sky. "He really likes you doesn't he?" Sephiroth was startled; he hadn't even heard the woman approach them. Shaking her head, she smiled ruefully, "He's so young. Too young to be in the army. I suppose Cloud didn't tell you why I don't use the name Mrs. Strife." At his affirmation, she looked up, "That's because there is no Mrs. Strife. There's only a silly little girl who believed in false promises and nothing more. Cloud's a good boy General. I don't want to see him make the same mistakes I did."

"I…I can't admit to completely understand the extent to which you must have suffered. But I promise you that I shall never leave Cloud of my own free will. I love him too much. And you are right; he's a wonderful son ma'am. You should never feel ashamed because I know he doesn't."

She smiled, a sincere smile, which made Sephiroth realize how young she really was. He could see the resemblance between Cloud and his mother, the same openness and honesty.

"You're a good man Sephiroth. I'd be a fool to deny my son this. You'd better get him in soon. What he failed to tell you is that every time he fell asleep outside he ended up with a cold."

And she left Sephiroth to wonder over exactly what had happened.

***The Next Morning***

"You're sure you can't stay a little longer?" "I apologize ma'am. But the reactor's in better condition than we had hoped. We must get back to Midgar I'm afraid." (Angeal had managed to charm Cloud's mother in seconds, earning her trust and warmth.)

Sniffling, she handed a pair of sweaters to Zack and Angeal. "I hope this'll keep you two warm." She glanced at Sephiroth and Cloud; luckily Angeal read the atmosphere and tugged Zack along with him. After the pair had disappeared, she turned to Sephiroth. "This is for you." Dangling from her pale hand was a beaten and worn necklace. The metal charm at the end of it bore intricate workmanship and Sephiroth hesitantly accepted it. "This is a family heirloom young man. As per tradition, one man of the house hands it over to the next, but seeing as this is a special condition…Well, welcome to the family I suppose."

"Wait a minute, Ma! How come you didn't give it to me then?" Patting her son on the head she replied, "Oh come now sweetie. I had to improvise given the situation and all things considered, when it comes to matters of the bedroom…"

"MA!"

Laughing, she pressed a farewell kiss to his forehead, pressing a bag of cookies and sandwiches into his hands. "Off you two go and I expect more letters, from the both of you. With photos. Oh and Sephiroth, if I get even the faintest rumor of my son's unhappiness, rest assured that I'll acquaint you with our native sacrificial customs."

Unsure of whether she was joking or not, Sephiroth just nodded.

***Bonus- The Cycle Repeats***

Cloud stared at his son. "Can you…can you repeat that for me?"

Denzel looked unsurely at his parents, "Um…I'm dating Kadaj. I uh, thought you should know. And I was wondering if I could call him over for dinner tomorrow?" Cloud stuttered, "Dinner? Yes, dinner's a wonderful idea. Dinner! I hope he's not allergic to anything? You hear that Seph? Denzel is now dating Kadaj. And…Oh sweet Gaia my baby's growing up!"

Sephiroth waved the now shell-shocked boy to his room and gathered the blond into his arms. Gaia, it was a good thing the blond couldn't get pregnant. "Hey Seph," hiccupped Cloud, "How come we never met your parents?"

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I don't know where this came from. My logic was that if Seph didn't go bat-shit crazy and try and kill everyone, Cloud's mom would still be alive and eventually, they'd need to meet. Hence this was born. Happy belated Christmas everyone and I hope to update this or my APH story before the New Year!

As always, thanks for taking the time to read. Feedback is appreciated even if it's a smiley face!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer: **I still own absolutely nothing and make zero profit from any of my writing endeavors.

**Warnings:** Extreme randomness and Reno.

* * *

**Tainted**

Sephiroth can feel it, every time they kiss, every time they make love, every time he holds Cloud to himself. The way the younger man fits in with the contours of his own body is mind-numbingly amazing. But that does little to dispel the cold truth of the matter. Because every time he holds Cloud, with each breath his beloved draws, he is reminded time and again of Cloud's innocence, of his purity. That in turn reminds him that he is only slightly better than a monster. His blood is _tainted_, murky and unclean. It's only a matter of time before Cloud realizes that as well. But until that time, Sephiroth will love Cloud as such purity is meant to be.

**Don't Let Go**

It's cold and the harsh wind is definitely not doing his delicate pale skin any favors. But Cloud doesn't feel the sharp bite of the breeze, nor does he feel the hardness of the wooden floor beneath his feet. His focus is on one thing and one thing alone. Bright blue eyes fix on a figure standing alone on the balcony, almost ethereal in the moonlight. Sephiroth doesn't notice Cloud's arrival, which is itself a bad sign. Usually the man is the perfect example of a doting husband and would never let Cloud out in such weather. His own cat-like eyes seem to stare at nothing, but Cloud feels a chill run down his back that he knows has nothing to do with the weather. No one stares at nothing with such devotion.

"Seph?" he calls out unsurely, over the howling wind. His pale hand clutches at Sephiroth's and the man seems to take note of him. "Can you hear her Cloud? She's calling for me."

Tears spring forth in Cloud's eyes, "Seph, stop it. You're scaring me." That's all it takes to clear Sephiroth's eyes. He blinks as though surprised and immediately tugs Cloud back inside. Cloud doesn't say anything, there's nothing he _can_ say now. Instead, he contents himself with snuggling into the elder man and throughout the night, he doesn't let go of the near death grip he has on Sephiroth's hand.

**Temper**

Zack looked surprised at Sephiroth. The man shrugged, placing a pot of tea and two tea cups on the table. Seating himself across from his darker haired friend, he ignored the curious glances, opting instead to pour himself a cup of soothing jasmine tea. He mentally noted that he'd need to thank Tseng for his excellent purchase later.

"Erm…. Is it healthy to let him sulk for that long?"

From somewhere upstairs, Cloud's voiced called out, "I am NOT sulking, Zackary Fair!" That was followed by a loud crash that made Zack gulp fearfully. He had seen bad days at work, angry Wutaian spies and drunken Reno trying to hit on not nearly drunk enough Rude, but nothing was quite as terrifying as a pissed of Cloud Strife. Sephiroth drained the last of his cup of tea, mentally debating whether he'd pour himself another cup or not. He remarked lightly, "I did tell you not to ask."

**Fly**

There were plenty of side effects that he theorized were possible as a result of the mako injections. He had postulated things like: increased intelligence, better strength, improved concentration and he had always subtly hoped for improved sexual capacity. But not even in his worst case scenario had he ever imagined such a situation. Hojo had well and truly screwed things up now. He sat on the plush sofa in his living room, burying his face in his hands.

It seemed like only a few seconds later, when he heard the tell-tale ping of someone sliding a keycard into the access scanner. The door opened and Cloud's cheerful voice filled the apartment. Sephiroth froze; he had forgotten that his boyfriend had planned to visit today. "Seph, I got some groceries so I could make dinner. Why are all the lights off? Do you have a headache? I can make some tea…for…that. Oh."

His eyes widened almost comically as he took in the new appendage that fluttered pathetically on Sephiroth's back. But rather than being repulsed, he seemed fascinated. "Is that a wing?" When Sephiroth nodded, his eyes gleamed.

"Can I…can I touch it?" he asked shyly.

Sephiroth nodded and there was something almost delightful about the way Cloud's fingers felt, carding their way through the soft feathers. He most certainly did not purr at the feeling and Cloud did not laugh at his lover's enjoyment. They settled themselves on the sofa, Cloud now on Sephiroth's lap, his face alight with wonder. There was something unexpectedly intimate about his touch, but it was a good feeling, Sephiroth thought, closing his eyes and letting himself relax.

**House Mice**

Cloud nervously smoothened his fur down, before licking his tiny paws and tidying up his whiskers. He wanted to look well-groomed for the mouse that had saved his small furry hide after all. Giving his whiskers one last final tweak, he picked up his gift for Sephiroth; it was a cracker sandwich with some yummy cherry preserve he had found the other day. He gathered up what little courage he had and headed off towards Sephiroth's mouse hole. On the way, he saw his reflection in the toaster and his fur bristled. He looked no better than the common street rats! It was enough to make any mouse's tail stand on end.

But he couldn't back down now, he had to thank Sephiroth! The mouse with the pretty, shiny fur had saved him from a mousetrap laid by that annoying girl with the long black hair and strangely large mammary glands. Cloud didn't like her, she was very loud! And shrill too, her voice hurt his little furry ears.

Before he knew it, he was at Sephiroth's place. "Um…Is anyone home?" he squeaked nervously. His beady eyes bulged even larger when none other than his hero appeared at the entrance. Shyly, he offered up his gift. The larger white mouse sniffed at it interestedly, before fixing him with a cool stare.

"Come on in Cloud. I've got a thistle of tea that would go excellently with this." Cloud twitched, his fur felt abnormally warm, he hoped he wasn't coming down with something. "Are you sure?" he squeaked. The white mouse's nose twitched and something akin to a grin slipped its way onto his face.

"Oh yes, you're far too cute not to share a meal with."

**Fairy Tale**

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Cloudina. She had hair like spun silk and eyes that gleamed like blue candy wrappers. So, she lived in the top of this hill that was really, really cold. It was so cold, that without thermal underwear, your balls, er toes, would freeze off, which as you can imagine would be pretty nasty. But she was locked up in a tower because her evil stepmother named Gretel (_"Gretel? Uncle Zack! Gretel's a good little girl_!" "Not in this story she isn't!")

Anyway, a lot of people came to try and rescue her from her prison. There was Sir Reno the Messy. He was a loud knight with even louder hair. Only he wasn't a smash hit with Cloudina and she kicked him in the nuts…er shin. Then he went away. Then came this really cool dragon, called Zack! (_"Uncle Zack!"_) Fine…you kids are no fun nowadays.

Zack was too hot for Cloudina to handle so he flew off to a sunny beach and drank pina coladas with a hot waiter called Angeal. Next came a travelling minstrel, named Genesis. (_"What's a minstrel?"_ "Oh it's your Uncle Genesis in tights.")

The point is, one by one, the suitors were rejected till Aerith, Cloudina's fairy godmother ("What do you mean what fairy godmother? Every princess has one!") began to despair, till along came a prince who had hair shinier than his armor.

He called out, "Cloudina, Cloudina let down your fair hair." Unfortunately, Cloudina was in favor of women's lib so she had short hair. Instead, she did what any sensible young woman would have done. She opened the front door and told the prince, "I'm not buying anything." Then she threatened to beat him senseless with her trusty rolling pin.

At the moment, a huge black spider came walking by ("No, I don't know how it was living in such a cold climate. It was mutant ok? Geez, you ask too many questions.") Cloudina was terrified because that thing was ENORMOUS. The prince slayed (read as squashed) the spider and Cloudina leaped into his arms. "Oh my Prince," she breathed, "I shall marry you for your tremendous bravery. But first, let me know your name."

The prince shifted uncomfortably, spitting a lock of blond hair out of his mouth. "My name is Sephiroth."

And then, dear children, Cloudina laughed and laughed till she almost choked on her spit and Sephiroth saved her and they rode back to the palace on a beautiful black Chocobo and they lived happily ever after. The end."

Denzel just blinked. He figured it was a safer option to just smile and nod.

**Downloading videos**

Cloud was NEVER letting Reno use his computer again. He liked the man well enough, but letting him use their family computer was out of the question. He went so red that Denzel thought he might explode any second. "Mom…do you want a glass of water?" Cloud nodded, not trusting himself to speak. As soon as Denzel was out of the room, he ran to the computer, looked at the screen and squeaked.

Trembling, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. "Hi Chocobo! What can I do for you?"

He explained to Reno just exactly what he could do to himself with his Electro Mag rod, before hanging up. Now all he had to do was explain to Denzel what the 'colorful balloons' on the screen were.

**Umbrella**

Of all the days that he had forgotten to bring his umbrella, of course he picked today. The angry looking clouds didn't look like they would let up any time soon, and he swore under his breath. It was raining so heavily that the water had started to pool on the roads at some points, lapping at his ankles. His shoes squelched in a way that made him squirm uncomfortably.

Holding his schoolbag over his head, he was remotely thankful for the fact it was waterproof. He brushed a waterlogged blond spike out of his eye, before trudging further up the road. A loud clap of thunder echoed in the sky and he yelped, tripping in his fright. He got up unhappily, and wiped at his face, willing away the angry tears, when he noticed something odd.

There was a distinct lack of rain over his head. Blinking, he looked up and saw a plain black umbrella. His gaze then continued to the pale hand that held it aloft, and then to the arm it was attached to. His face flushed as he realized who the umbrella belonged to.

"Sephiroth!" he stammered, bowing gratefully to his senior. The elder boy's thin lips quirked into a bemused smile. "Not a good day to forget your umbrella is it Cloud? Come on, I know a good coffee place near here. Let's go there until it stops raining." He pulled Cloud closer toward him, so they would both fit under the shelter of his umbrella and headed off to the warmth of the café.

**Muse**

Frustrated hands tugged at a wayward strand of silver hair, as irritated green eyes scanned the streets, looking for the coffee shop Genesis had told him about. Sephiroth hadn't written anything in months and with his lack of creativity came a sort of irritability that drove the people around him crazy. Genesis had finally snapped, telling him to get out of the apartment and do something before they all booked themselves into a mental institution.

So here Sephiroth was, on his way to a coffee shop of all places. He didn't even drink coffee, he always preferred tea. It was so much more refined.

The small shop wasn't very crowded, and he quickly made his way to the counter, intent on getting home as quickly as possible. That's when he_ saw_ the guy at the counter. His jaw dropped.

"Er…sir? Would you like to place your order? Sir… Are you ok?"

Sephiroth gathered himself enough to ask the (Unnaturally beautiful) employee for whatever bizarre beverage Genesis wanted and rushed home, stopping only long enough to kiss Genesis on the cheek (prompting an indignant squawk from his friend).

Because he had found his muse. That golden haired, blue eyed Adonis would haunt him in all the right ways for the next few months, longer if he was lucky.

**Dancer**

Denzel had met him by accident. He had gone to the college dance tryouts with his friend Sora to cheer him on. Sora was good, as he had expected and he hung around after his audition, watching a guy who was Sora's friend perform. Then came the next participant, who was quiet and unassuming, wearing a dark brown t-shirt with a pink dragonfly on it. "Guy must be good," Sora muttered, "Look, Riku is standing up to film him. He wouldn't do that without reason."

As it turned out, the guy was brilliant. The crowd went crazy, cheering him on and Denzel could only watch in awe, with his mouth slightly open.

That was what started Denzel's (slightly unhealthy) obsession with Kadaj, who was now on the college street dance team. He'd hang around a little after classes, purposely walking by the place where he knew Kadaj practiced just to catch a glimpse of him. Or he'd time his lunch exactly so, making sure Kadaj would pass by at that time.

Denzel really had _no_ life sometimes.

But Denzel had no hopes of anything changing. He was a geeky science student, quiet and shy with a few close friends. Kadaj was an arts student, who was incredible, vibrant and popular. They lived in different worlds.

Things might have never changed either if Sora hadn't picked up on the non-existent love affair. It happened one fall evening when he was sitting on the stairs, taking a breather from practice chatting with his close friend. All of a sudden, Denzel went pink in the face and his mouthed parted in an "O". Sora followed Denzel's gaze, curious eyes landing on Kadaj, who had done a headstand right in front of them, shirt sliding down to reveal sweat soaked abs.

Sora came to an understanding. Denzel thanked God for gravity.

The next time he stopped by practice (this time, to give Sora some notes) Sora stopped him. "Hey Kadaj! Come here a minute!"

Denzel's eyes widened. What in Gaia's name did Sora think he was doing?

The boy stepped closer, brushing damp bangs away from his eyes. Sora clapped Kadaj on the shoulder and waved his hand at Denzel. "This is my pal Denzel. He's doing this project for his bio class; they're collecting bugs and stuff. You think you can help out man?"

Kadaj shrugged before offering a smile to Denzel. "Sure. Anything in particular you're looking for?"

Denzel blushed, "Er, well not really, but they need to have wings." Oh Gaia, his voice sounded so reedy and thin! And this was so terribly lame!

But, Sora had tried to help him out and he had to try for results. "Uhm…Could I have your number? You know to tell you more about our project and stuff?" He mentally patted himself on the back for sounding like the world's biggest creep. But Kadaj gave him his number and he practically skipped to the bus stop, ignoring Sora's kissy faces in the background.

The next day at lunch, he was trying to explain some notes to Marlene when Kadaj walked by. Denzel's heart nearly gave out when the boy smiled and waved at him. Marlene nudged him in the side furiously urging him to unfreeze and wave back.

It was only twenty minutes later when Kadaj reappeared, this time sitting next to him. He grinned at Denzel offering him a bite of his candy bar. "Sorry man, I couldn't find a single insect. But no worries, I'll keep at it."

"T…thanks." Denzel flushed. Surprisingly, Kadaj didn't move, instead he chatted with Denzel like they were old friends, and Denzel was amazed to note how much they had in common. He was extremely pleased with himself when Kadaj doubled over laughing at a joke he cracked.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch but as he was about to leave, Kadaj grabbed his wrist. "Say…you want to go check out the bookstore down the street with me after classes today? I heard they have a new shipment."

When he entered class two minutes late with a huge smile on his face, he ignored the way Marlene and Sora high-fived each other and Riku's stage whispered, "Finally!"

He was too excited to care. He had a date AND he could get some new books. Life was good.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So here's chapter 9! These are essentially ideas that I had, that never made it to being full-fledged chapters but I just couldn't throw them out entirely. Some quick notes about these prompts:

A large number of them were taken from various DBSK and Shinee prompt generators. Fairy Tale however is a result of my own warped mind and sugar. Muse is actually based on a conversation I had with a friend of mine. Umbrella is based on the fact it's been raining for the last five hours or so without any signs of letting up. The last prompt technically belongs in a separate category all together but I figured what the heck. That prompt is based on reality (aka my life). Well the first part is at least, sadly things didn't follow up the same way, but at least I got a plot out of it.

Reviews will make Kadaj do another headstand for Denzel!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Disclaimer- **I still own absolutely nothing and make zero profit from any of my writing endeavors.

**These are the last few unrelated drabbles I wanted to include under this category.**

* * *

**Take my picture**- It's too bright. The light practically burns his sensitive eyes and he half-heartedly wishes he'd brought a pair of sunglasses along with him. He winces as flash after dazzling flash continues to appear, the light bouncing off the smooth white walls in all the wrong ways. He wonders what the final product will look like, whether there'll be any of the subject matter at all, or just one, big, resounding ball of white.

Cloud shakes his head, he's being picky again. Tifa would behead him if he got into an argument with any of her coworkers before he had even started working there. Leaning back awkwardly, he lets out a small puff of air, trying to calm his frayed nerves. He had been asked to wait here over half an hour ago. Digging his cellphone out of his pocket, he hurriedly texts Tifa, asking her if he had been forgotten.

His finger hits the send button when a deep voice summons him. "Cloud Strife?" Looking up, he's met by what has to be the most casually dressed person here. With a pair of blue jeans and a dark sweater, he still manages to command an air of respect and elegance. Smiling, the man extends a well-manicured hand towards Cloud who scrambles to his feet. "It's nice to finally meet you. My name is Reeve Tuesti; I'm in charge of artistic coordination. I must say, I thought you would be much older, your portfolio was extremely impressive".

Cloud flushes, not knowing what to do with the compliment, because it's _Reeve Tuesti_ and even a moron like him knows who that is. Cloud's always loved photography, something about the way a memory could be preserved made the blood rush through his veins in a way nothing else could. He had started out with photos of flowers, people in his small hometown (the girls always wanted a photographer) and then moved on to sceneries. Most of his work had been odd jobs, commissions and freelancing. That is, until Tifa submitted some of his work to her boss.

Struggling to keep up with Reeve, he swerved around harried models, grumpy staff and imposing equipment. For the most part, people chose to either ignore him or shoot him dirty looks. Cloud was an _intruder_ in their coven of fashion.

His first model looked eccentric. Cloud had never really dealt with high-end fashion before. In the back of his mind, he wonders if this is what fashion is all about. The model's wearing an atrociously bright red trench coat and the tightest pair of brown jeans that Cloud has ever seen and he bounces up to the set. Genesis, as Cloud learns is the man's name, looks faintly bemused when he hears Cloud's the photographer. Nevertheless, he good naturedly smiles at the blond, wishes him good luck and strides over to makeup where he proceeds to engage in an animated conversation with a dark-haired man. Cloud winces when he almost knocks the mascara bottle out of the make-up artist's hands. He'll be working with this guy?

Almost as though he can feel Cloud's gaze, Genesis' eyes move in the mirror, narrowing when they land on Cloud and a smirk graces his lips. He winks lazily and Cloud feels an unfamiliar heat coil low in his stomach. He busies himself with setting up his camera.

A week later, he's back at the same building. This time, he's not as intimidated. Reeve had loved his work and he's on probation now. A few more successful photo shoots and he might have a permanent place in the company.

"The Goddess is not something to snigger about Zackary Fair! Great are her mysteries and her benevolence has no limit."

Cloud's back stiffened. That voice.

A wry grin on his face, he worries at the strap of his camera bag. Genesis as it turned out, was a fantastic model. Once he got in front of the camera, he was an entirely new person. Someone who pouted and leered and smirked in just the right way. It had nearly driven Cloud crazy, because it was positively divine photographing Genesis. It was art at its finest, and there was something else as well.

At the end of the shoot, after the final photo, Genesis hadn't moved off set. Instead he had kept his gaze fixed on Cloud and when the flustered blond had caught his eye, the model had _licked his lips_.

Jumping to his feet, he was fully prepared to run and hide when a pale hand landed on his shoulder. "Cloud," an all too familiar voice purred in his ear, "You're early."

Shrugging his shoulders nervously he muttered, "Well, Mr. Tuesti never told me who I was assigned to, so I thought…" He was cut off by Genesis' laughter. The man had a nice laugh, he thought dazedly. "I thought you knew, you've been assigned to me! Which is wonderful, because that last shoot was fantastic. Where did you work before, you must have had some brilliant mentors."

"Actually," he said shyly, "I'm just freelancing now. I worked at home and taught myself I guess."

"That's very impressive Cloud. I can definitely see why Reeve wants to hire you. Talent like yours would be a crime to waste. Speaking of wasting, have you eaten? Come on, it's lunch time, my treat!" Cloud doesn't really have much of a say in the matter as he's almost dragged off to a small café across the street, Genesis' arm snaked around his waist.

Oddly enough, Cloud muses as he leans into Genesis' side, he's quite happy with the situation.

**Across the Great Divide**- Getting drunk was an awful idea. No, scratch that, getting drunk and then losing the keys to your room was an _awful_ idea. But nevertheless, that was exactly what Cloud had proceeded to do, despite the fact he couldn't hold his alcohol. It had been a small party, to celebrate the end of the semester, open to everyone, including book worms like Cloud. So he had sauntered over to the old garden shed where the illicit gathering was being conducted and then proceeded to stick to the wall through the entire evening. There was no one in the room that he'd want to befriend, no one who was sober enough to remember him in the morning.

On a whim, he had picked up a glass of punch and sipped it, hoping the alcohol would take the edge off. Oh and it had, three glasses later and he was this close to making his way to the shadier part of the venue and doing Gaia knows what. Thankfully, what shred of common sense had not been dulled with the alcohol screamed at him to leave. Stumbling up the long winding staircases, he had only stopped once to pet the bright blue Moogle he could have sworn he had seen.

His feet carried him, almost on autopilot back to his room, and he thought longingly of his bed. Sleep sounded wonderful right now. Now all he needed were his keys, where were they? Oh, that's right. They were in his wallet, which he had kept safely in his desk drawer because who knew the people who came to these parties. Oh. _Oh_…

"Shit." He cursed again. Of course he could always just bang on the door and hope his roommate would let him in. But there was a greater chance that Sephiroth would slice his head off or something. Tall and imposing, the man rarely smiled; at best you'd get an amused smirk out of him. He was an absolute genius though, and was head of the student council. Sephiroth was popular. He had a fixed group of friends and a contingent of admirers, more than one of whom had tried to ambush Cloud for details on their idol.

Not that any of them had a chance though. Sephiroth wasn't interested in girls. It was strange what the man felt comfortable sharing with him. Well, it was strange until Sephiroth had asked him out to lunch. Cloud had then proceeded to drop his coffee while falling off his chair and of course that landed on his keyboard and he'd spent a week without his laptop and a month's worth of his allowance he got from college to fix it. He wasn't really sure that he wanted to date Sephiroth, they didn't seem to have any common interests, they never really saw each other outside of their room and Sephiroth had never pursued the topic after that. In Cloud's mind, it was just a silly bet that had gone wrong.

Cloud was the co-editor of their college paper. What that meant was he got to listen to a bunch of whiny students argue about why their column should be included in the newspaper.

Maybe he could double back and sleep in someone else's room? Except, he wasn't that great at making friends. The only two people he had managed to befriend were Aerith and Tifa and there was no way he was going to the girls' dorm now.

"Are you going to come inside or do you plan to spend the remainder of the evening staring at the wall?" His head shot up at the sound of his irritated roommate's voice. He looked like he had woken up from a terribly deep sleep.

"I could hear you thinking from here! And where were you anyway?" His eyes widened as Cloud swayed slightly trying to organize his thoughts, "You went to that party? Every time I think you can't get any more stupid. Come on."

The next morning, Cloud wakes up with a massive headache and it feels like something has died in his throat. He rolls over and groans into the pillow, because, why was the world so loud? Eventually though, he makes it to the bathroom and brushes his teeth. Washing up, he feels considerably less disgusting, though his headache is still there. By the time he stumbles into the living area, Sephiroth has already left but Cloud notices that the curtains are drawn to keep the extra light out. There's a flask of tea on the table and a note under it, telling Cloud that if he plans to do something this stupid, to _please_ carry his phone with him. There's a line at the bottom, which looks like it was scribbled in haste telling Cloud there's a bag of animal crackers in case he gets hungry.

Tifa raised her eyebrows, "He bought you animal crackers. That's actually rather sweet." He hums noncommittally, munching on a zebra's head. "Where's Aerith?"

"I'm not really sure; I think she said something about meeting up with her mentor for some paper. Don't try and change the topic though. You still haven't explained why you turned down Sephiroth in the first place."

He rolls his eyes and digs out a giraffe, "Tifa, we've been through this. He doesn't like me, however hot I may think he is, there's nothing really beyond that." He's barely finished his sentence when his phone vibrates. Sliding it out of his pocket, his eyebrows raise. It's Sephiroth.

His roommate has never, ever texted him before, barring once when he'd left an important essay in the room and needed Cloud to pick it up for him. Cloud didn't even know he still had his number.

_How are you feeling?_ The text reads. Fumbling, he types back_, A lot better, the crackers really did the trick! Thank you._ He adds a smiley for an added effect. Then he realizes something and types, _How'd you know I liked that kind?_

It's less than a minute before he gets a reply. _You mentioned it once, along with the fact you can't stomach radishes and like soupy noodles._ Cloud flushes and replies, _Oh. Wow. I didn't really think you were listening._

_Awkward._

A muffled giggle makes him belatedly realize that Tifa is still very much there. "You're worse than a teenage girl and her first crush. I'm not sure whether this is sweet or just plain disturbing."

He sticks his tongue out at her and checks his phone again. _Of course I was listening, why wouldn't I be?_

It's two days later when Cloud runs into Sephiroth in the hallway. Literally runs into him, he's late for a class and slams into his roommate. He barely has time to stutter a, "Sorry", before he's off again.

Lunch is going to be a real treat, he supposes, both Tifa and Aerith are busy today and he can't skip lunch because he has a three hour lab after that, and it's organic chemistry which means he'll be on his feet for three hours.

Holding his tray, he looks around for an empty table when he hears an unfamiliar voice call out his name. Glancing to his right, he sees Zack, who's on the football team, waving at him. Was he actually calling Cloud? Any doubts he might have had are dispelled when Zack hollers his name out. Cloud moves towards them, mainly to keep Zack from shouting again, but he notes that Sephiroth too looks faintly embarrassed.

He gingerly sits next to Sephiroth who nods at him. "Ignore Zack. Someone gave him sugar." Smiling nervously, Cloud meets all of Sephiroth's friends and inwardly gapes at the fact that even though they're popular, they're actually quite_ nice_. Most of them are more than bizarre, but they're really friendly and welcoming and not at all like what he had expected.

"Where are Aerith and Tifa?" Sephiroth enquires softly. "Uhm, Tifa had kickboxing practice because they have a tournament next week and Aerith is in the botany lab still." They make small talk, about their homes, families, pets (_Wait, so you didn't set your pet llama on fire in middle school?_ Cloud, I never had a llama. _Why_ would I have a llama?)

Cloud laughs at a remark Sephiroth makes, when he notices that Sephiroth is staring at him contemplatively. "Um…Is everything ok?"

"Why did you turn me down?"

There's no ambiguity in his question and yet Cloud finds himself puzzling over the statement for a few seconds. "I didn't really turn you down. You caught me by surprise."

"If I remember correctly, your response was 'Shit. Shit. Double shit' and for variety I believe, 'Oh hell no.'"

Cloud winces, "That was because I had fried my laptop's circuit board! Besides, you barely had ever talked to me before that about regular stuff. And you never really bothered after that so I just let it go too."

"Would you like to give it another try?" Cloud pauses in the middle of viciously stabbing a carrot, looking at him bewildered. "Would you like to, grab a coffee after college?"

He shakes his head ruefully, "I can't, I've got to edit some articles for tomorrow's paper, but," he adds holding up his hand, "If you want, maybe after that? We can go to that waffle place down the road."

Sephiroth's eyes, he notices, crinkle just a bit when he smiles. "I would like that a lot."

Cloud ignores the warmth on his cheeks and Zack's, "Hey I want waffles too!" and links his fingers shyly with Sephiroth's. "Sounds like a plan."

**Recognition**- He doesn't know what to say. Social situations have never been his forte but this, this is beyond even his worst nightmares and there's nothing he can say, nothing he can do, that will make things better. His throat burns and there's a slightly sour feeling in his stomach as his old friend, one of his oldest, looks at him, with eyes as blank as a freshly wiped slate.

"I'm sorry… Do I know you? I feel like I should, but I can't seem to remember."

Sephiroth sits down next to him, amazed that this illness seems to have taken away the very soul behind the man who once led an army, the man whose soul once had an unquenchable thirst for poetry and art, the man who had once been his brother-in-arms. Gone are the witty comments, crude jokes and sarcasm, the spark of life that knew no bounds.

His friend, his advisor…his brother, is hidden somewhere behind a mask of blankness and there's nothing he can do. For a split second Genesis smiles at him and Sephiroth can almost imagine that his friend is back to normal.

Then Vincent and Cloud come back from the kitchen and Genesis smiles at Cloud politely and asks who he is.

When they leave, Genesis insists on clinging to Vincent's arm and accompanying them to the door and bids them a fond farewell, asking them hopefully if they'll return tomorrow. "We don't really get a lot of visitors."

If he tries, he can almost forget the painful grip Cloud has on his hand, which only intensifies when they hear Genesis asking, "I'm sorry, I can't thank you enough for helping me, but…who are you?"

He can almost pretend to not feel the stinging in his own eyes as he grips Cloud's hand back, just as tightly.

**Foreign**- The delicate silver wind chimes Aerith's hung in front of the door ring as the front door swings open. Sephiroth doesn't bother to look up from his book, it's pouring outside. It's probably just another person who had been caught in the torrential downpour. Aerith is out in seconds, fussing over her latest customer, whom, from the conversation, seems to be drenched.

He can't hear the other person, but he doesn't really want to either. He's perfectly happy ensconced in his own bubble of serenity, a mug of tea steaming in front of him. Aerith has ushered the poor soul into a chair near him and he can hear her leaving to get a towel.

That's when he hears him for the first time. Soft and unsure, stumbling over his words, it's evident that English isn't his first language. He thanks Aerith, though the words sound entirely too foreign on his tongue.

Sephiroth's curiosity is piqued and he furtively glances over the top of his book. The stranger looks like his voice, if that's possible. Soft, awfully young and quiet. He also bears the appearance of a drowned rat, he's started shivering too. Sephiroth idly wonders where Aerith is with that towel. He catches the younger boy's eyes and nods at him. His eyebrow quirks as the other quickly glances away.

Aerith comes bustling in with a huge fluffy towel and a pot of tea. The boy seems frantic as he waves at the tea and shakes his head, muttering something in a foreign language and pointing. Sephiroth understands before the kind hostess can, he doesn't have the money to pay for that. He's not quite sure why he does it, something about the worn soles of the boy's sneakers maybe or the tattered sweater he's wearing invokes a strange, if not unwanted feeling deep within him.

"It's alright Aerith, just put the tea on my tab." She looks confused for a second before it dawns on her and she smiles at him. "Of course. Would you like to maybe keep him company? The poor dear looks exhausted, I'll just see if we have at least some sandwiches that he can have."

He's uncomfortable with this. It's one thing to pay for his tea; it's another to keep the boy company. Sitting down, he glances at him again and asks, "What's your name?"

It takes a few minutes for the question to register, but when it does, he shyly replies, "Cloud." Then he adds, "Thank you for tea," pointing at the pot and cup. Shrugging Sephiroth replies, "You're welcome, but it's really Aerith that you should be thanking not me."

Cloud looks lost and Sephiroth sighs. "Never mind. Where are you from?"

They continue like that, with broken sentences and sign language and Sephiroth garners that Cloud is from Nibelheim, part of the old backwater portion of the country which explains his lack of control over the city's language. He's come to Midgar with the hope of earning a living for himself. Cloud's not too comfortable talking about his family, a fact made evident by the way that he ducks his head and refuses to continue.

Other than that, he doesn't get much except that he really has no place to go and is waiting till the storm stops to make his way over to the church and perhaps see if they have a room for him.

Aerith clucks her tongue sympathetically, "It's hard enough to get a job in the city, let alone the fact he can't speak English. These people are like wild animals at the best of times." Her eyes fix on Cloud nibbling at his cheese sandwiches, and a determined light takes over them.

"You know…I've been thinking for some time about hiring someone to help me around the shop. He wouldn't need to speak much to start off with. He could clean, wash the dishes and I could teach him how to cook slowly." Sephiroth knows that look in her eye and he smiles.

And that's how Gainsborough café gains a new chef. He stops by on an almost daily basis, mainly for his tea but occasionally to sit and talk to Aerith. Every time he visits, Cloud beams at him, cheerfully chattering away in a mixture of steadily improving English and his own native language. He's a lot healthier now, less withdrawn and adores Aerith. Vaguely, Sephiroth is reminded of Chocobo chicks that follow their mothers around from place to place.

One day, he's surprised when Cloud places a plate with a slice of cake in front of him. He looks up surprised, "I didn't order this."

The boy shakes his head, "Taste!" he insists. So Sephiroth does. It's actually quite nice, he notes, lemon flavored and not too sweet. He relays this to Cloud who beams and flushes, fiddling with his apron and says, "For you, because, you gave me this." He waves his hands around in the general direction of the café and Sephiroth understands. There are no more words exchanged, there's no necessity.

His visits to the café become more frequent and he spends more time there, but for once it's not because of the tea. Cloud is improving in leaps and bounds and soon there are some of his items in the glass display for sale. Little by little, he lets out snippets of his past, bullying, an absent father, a wistful mother and above all else, a desire to be free.

At some point, Sephiroth realizes that his fondness for Cloud has evolved from a simple friendship to something else entirely. He's not too sure if he's completely comfortable with that notion just yet, but it doesn't stop him from returning daily.

His friend from work, Zack, accompanies him once and it's obvious that he's smitten with Aerith. Luckily, the young woman returns his affection and doesn't seem to mind his disastrous attempts at baking in order to impress her.

It's one quiet afternoon, when Zack's leaning over the counter, and Aerith's blushing prettily at something he says, Cloud asks him softly, "What's it like to fall in love?"

He does a double-take, he's answered plenty of strange questions before but nothing could have prepared him for this. Sephiroth thinks back to the way his heart painfully clenches at the sight of Cloud's flour stained cheeks, the way he's been reading through self-help books and internet sources just to help Cloud with his English.

"It's…difficult to describe. But it's a wonderful experience." Cloud smiles wistfully at Zack and Aerith, and slowly nods his head, "Yeah, it is. Seph, if Aerith and Zack get together, they'll want to live together too right?"

Sephiroth shrugs; Cloud has the privilege of calling him 'Seph' because, among other things, his full name had been too difficult for the boy to pronounce. "It's possible, but I don't think she'll kick you out or anything. She likes you too much."

"Yes, but I do not want to be a… a trouble?" he finishes with a questioning look on his face. "Burden," Sephiroth corrects gently, "And you won't be. You work here and earn your living. You're hardly a burden."

Cloud turns to him with a smile, "Thanks Seph. You always make me feel better." He idly wonders if he's imagining the slight blush dusting the boy's cheeks.

It's a spur of the moment idea really, but he finds himself asking Cloud to move in with him. He's only a short walk from the bus stop, he can pick him after work and he isn't adverse to the idea of company. They fall into an easy routine, Sephiroth finds himself drawn more and more to the boy.

He's not sure when their relationship morphs into something else, he suppose it's been in the making for a while. During one of those weekend movie marathons they have, Cloud falls asleep, his head on Sephiroth's shoulder and to him, it's the most natural thing in the world. The next morning, Sephiroth pecks Cloud on the cheek, muttering a, "Have a good day at work."

He's never really wondered whether they'd need more than that easy togetherness they've developed until Zack asks him, "So…you and Spiky are dating?" Sephiroth just wants to finish reading his book, not discuss the nuances of his relationship with Zack.

"Have you told him that you loved him?" Sephiroth drops his book.

"_What?_"

Zack speaks slowly, like he's speaking to a small child. "Have you told Cloud that you loved him?"

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "I haven't. We don't need to. I mean, it's understood isn't it?"

Zack looks at him like he's fighting a mix of confusion and irritation. In the end though, there's no further discussion and Sephiroth finds himself smiling at Cloud who's placing a tray of chocolate gateaux on the shelf.

That night, he finds Zack's voice swirling around and around in his head. Almost as though he can sense his consternation, Cloud asks, "Is something wrong?"

This time, it's Sephiroth who struggles with his words. "I know I've never said this, but you know…that I well…" he trails off. Cloud looks amused. "I know. I love you too." He presses a reassuring kiss to his lover's lips. "You waited for me at the beginning; you were patient while I was learning. I can wait until you're ready to say those words to me. For however long it takes."

Sephiroth knows it's only a matter of time before he can tell Cloud how much he loves him, till he can express his emotions verbally. But until then, he'll do_ everything_ he can to show Cloud instead.

* * *

**Author's Note-**

To start off with, I know it's been a long time since I last updated. I've had some of these drabbles with me for once but I've never had the time to compile them. Additionally, I lost my notepad with the others. I'm not sure how the first drabble ended up as a Cloud/Genesis, but it happened.

The third prompt was initially meant to be a reference to the mako treatment's side effects but I decided to leave the cause up to the reader.

As for the last prompt, I'm blaming it on spending too many hours with cups of coffee and tea thanks to college. Although not specified, I estimate Cloud's age as between 18 and 20 while Sephiroth is 23.

This is it for this particular story. I want to thank everybody who took the time to read this, review and favorite, you guys are amazing!


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